To my friend Lisa

On Friday my friend Lisa's sweet momma passed away.

I just want to send her my sentiments and condolences. We love her dearly and there's nothing worst than losing a parent. Especially if you're an only child.

She is up in heaven with my dad looking down at us right now letting us know that they are ok. They're with us all the time.... Bailey tells me.

Hang in there sweetie. Just know that we love you and we're here for you.

Food Poisoning.... boogers..... and Pilates

Since the last post I've lost 3lbs.

Because I've been working on excercizing regularly. Every other day I try to do some pilates here at home. I think I'm gaining more muscles than losing the fat. Not really doing any of the cardio. Not at all actually. Which is why I'm contemplating on joining a gym. But it's so expensive and if I don't have someone to motivate me or someone to workout with, I just simply won't go.

I've been going to Ariel Dance Studio to get my workout in when there's time. Last week was a Modern dance class with Rhonda, Amy, and Ashley. It felt really good to be moving again. The other night I went to a Pilates class. My abs are killing me!! I really want to keep going to both the classes and I'm sure it will help me with my weight.

Renegades weekend off
Last weekend we experienced what pleasure it is to have Chris home hanging out with us the whole weekend. Unfortunately, I was hit with food poisoning Saturday morning and it lasted almost the entire day! Bad chicken from the night before. Good thing the boys didn't have any of it. I forgot what it felt like to be 'violently ill'. I'd never wish that stomachache on anyone!

I can't wait until the Renegades season is over.... I just want my husband back home on the weekends again. I miss him... I miss his company.... I miss doing things as a family. His little girl needs him.

3 more weeks until the end of the dispare. I hope they do well in Rochester this year. I really wish that I could be there with them. Technically... I can go. Financially, not so much. Reese will start school next week and I'm pretty sure I can set something up with my mother in law to make sure that he gets to school every day.

Oh well. I wish the Renegades the best of luck...and my husband a good trip to the east coast.

And this post wouldn't be complete without a Random Conversation with Reese
I looked in my rear view mirror to see a strangely quiet little boy picking his nose digging for gold.
Me: Reese, don't pick your nose
Reese: Why not, I have to get the boogers out
Me: Then blow your nose with a tissue
Reese: I don't have any tissue
Me: Then wait til we get home
Reese: Too late, I ate the boogers!

The value of service

This week Chris and I are on a mission to find a daycare provider for our daughter. I will have to return to work the second week of September. I figured we should start looking now so that we don't rush and settle with someone just because we found her first. (I say her because daycare providers are usually women).

I looked online for the 4C's. Nothing came up. I have always used them to find in home care providers in the area. Anyone who's registered with the county is listed on the 4C's listing. They must have current child care license, cpr trained, know the rules and speak english. Anyway... their website isn't there so I will look it up and call them another day. I have always had good luck finding someone through them for Reese in the past.

So while I was messing around online, I thought I'd check out the daycare 'center' type places and see what they provide and costs. Every place is different. My mom works for the military daycare center in Alameda. They are 'income-based'. You pay them what you can afford and they know how much you make because you must be in the military to have your kids there. I think that's a brilliant idea. But to us civilians, things aren't that easy.

I checked out 2 places today that are 'daycare center'(s).

They are very official about everything. Which they should be. But why does it have to cost an arm and a leg? And your first born???

I mean, seriously, it's ridiculous! I might as well not go back to work. Chris and I calculated out the budget and stretch every penny out and we STILL can not afford to have Bailey go to one of these centers. And both our salaries combined total up to over $100k. No lie. We'd eat rice and beans and not have spending money... ever!

One place cost $1325/mo. The other was $1430.

All I gotta say is.... WTF man?

Random conversation with Reese

This conversation took place yesterday when he was done with doing #2.

Reese: Mom, I just had a lot of poo-poos. The last one was big, it hurt my butthole.
me: Oh yeah?
Reese: My butthole is red, wanna see it? Maybe you can kiss it make it better.
me: I believe you, I don't want to kiss it.
Reese: How is it going to feel better?
me: I don't know, but I'm not going to kiss your butthole.
Reese: Alright, mom. But I'm going to tell my friend you won't kiss me anymore.
me: riiiiiiiiiiiight.

I can't wait til Bailey starts talking.

Near Death Experience...

Well sort of...

Today I decided to take the kids up to TI to visit the Renegades and watch their final run-through of the camp. The drive up was great, with the exception of the wait at the toll plaza... where Bailey decided she wanted to wake up and cry non-stop the entire time we were at the stop and go parking lot awaiting to pay the toll. Once we got on the foot of the bridge though, we're nice and calm. Go figure.

On the way back with Chris in the car was a different story. It was like there's a full moon out tonight and all the wackos are out.

We got on the bridge east bound heading home on 80. As we approach the bottom of the bridge and the lanes get wider I noticed in my rear view mirror this car weaving in and out of traffic. Granted, traffic wasn't heavy at all but we were all increasing in speed since we're on solid ground now. I'm in the second lane from the right, there was no one next to me so I started to scoot over to the far right so that I'm away from this guy.

As he got closer to my rear end, I noticed that one of his right tires is leaning at a 45 degree angle and the car is leaning to the right as he approaches my car. He weaved just far enough that he didn't touch us but close enough to scare me. I didn't really know how to react initially, never been in that situation really. A second later a CHP followed.

The CHP was chasing this car with the jacked up wheel!

The funny part is that he's not going that fast. Probably just 10 MPH over our speed, which was only about 55 since I slowed down to get away from him and he scared me. Most people on the road had the same reaction.

From this moment on, it was surreal. I thought I was on one of those police chase videos I see on TV. The guy momentarily lost control of his car and skidded across 4 lanes of traffic forcing 3 cars to step on their brakes. Most of us further away saw it coming and slowed down to be far behind. It was like slow motion.

The Lexus SUV in the far left lane was the unfortunate vehicle in this incident. They didn't see it coming at all. The driver stepped on her breaks and fishtailed out of control into the center divider. The truck rolled 2-3 times crashing into the sign and finally landed on its 4 wheels in the median.

The car that caused this accident then lost its jacked up tire, but the driver managed to get it facing the right way and kept on driving. The CHP is still chasing this guy 2 lanes away at the same speed.

His lost tire rolled across 5 lanes into our exit... then at the shoulder it turned around and rolled back onto the freeway. I slowed down and let it pass.

My heart is beating 100 miles an hour at this point. I don't want to look back but I wanted to. Those poor people in the SUV! There were people pulled over to help them out. That and this happened only a few feet from the toll plaza on the other side.

Later as we drove half way home I realized that at the moment that accident happened, I wasn't looking where I was going at all. If anyone or anything was in front of me, I think I would have hit it. It's a really good thing Chris was in the car with me because he really helped calm me down because he's such a mellow soul. Eventhough I know he was also scared to death too.

And then around San Leandro traffic slowed down to 30 mph when we saw why cars were weaving out of the far left lane. There were 4 dining room chairs scattered about on the freeway. About a half mile later, a tiny pick up truck with the rest of the furniture is backing up on the shoulder. He must really want his furniture. First off, he caused a major traffic jam. Secondly, backing up or driving on the shoulder is illegal, I think. Third, how the hell is he going to get his chairs back? They are in the far left lane!

Oy!

Must have been a full moon I say.

Swollowing the pride

I'm going to join 24hr fitness. Sometime next week I'll make my way down there and finally get my act together since I cant' seem to get my ass off the couch on my own at home. Not that I can't do it... it's just really hard to do with a newborn baby and a 6 year old who both require my attention 23 hours out of the day. I sure wish my matabolism was the same as it was when I were younger. Don't we all wish that though? It also doesn't help that I sit here and watch Food Network half the day and start craving things I see on TV. I remember the days when I used to be so picky about what I ate. Not so much since I've been with Chris. Which is good in my book, he's widen my palette dare I say.

My scale says I've lost one pound since last week. I'm now at 169lbs. At least it's tipping to the right direction. I am eating less that I was before. That actually surprised me the most about the change in my eating habits. My appitite seems to have lessen since Bailey's been born. I'm back to eating a little bit here and there. Can't finish a 6 inch subway sandwich anymore. Whereas when I was pregnant, I can down a whole sandwich and 3 cookies and probably be hungry 2 hours later.

I do have to adjust my diet. A LOT. I eat a lot of starch. Rice, bread, sugar, lots of sugar. I need more protein more greens. It's gonna be hard to give up sugar... probably not give up, just cut back a whole lot. Chris is going into the same diet. I'm not sure if he's doing this to help me get through it or if he's feeling like he's dragging too. We have not cooked in a long time. It's been a while since we used our kitchen at all. Dinner out of a box doesn't count. I think the last time he cooked was a fajita dinner before Bailey was born. It's just too hot to cook! At least that's our excuse.

The end of my sanity

This is it....

TODAY I BOUGHT A SCALE....

Because of my new obcession with my weight. Today I bought a scale. Just so I can be even more obcessed with it.

My whole complex stems from the fact that I've never ever been this heavy nor have I ever had trouble losing some spare poundage.

170lbs.

I have a complex about my weight.

A quick synopsis:

2 years ago I weighed 130lbs.
It's the weight I've been at since high school. The distribution of the weight between muscle and fat have moved with time, but it's always been 130. I ate whatever I wanted when I wanted. My matabolism was high and I was constantly active. Dance, drum corps, stress, whatnot.

1 year ago I weighed 145lbs.
Up until I got pregnant with Bailey I weighed that much. Which is fine, I'm 30 years old, I eat whatever Chris cooks, snacked constantly. I keep thinking it's the compensation for my height too. We were so happy to be pregnant. I started eating for 2. And didn't care!

That's my first mistake. I lost weight right away when I had Reese that I kept thinking the same will happen this time. I hardly ate anything when I was pregnant with him it was a miracle that he was born healthy. And he's still is.

June 19th... the day Bailey was born. I weighed in at 192lbs before the delivery. I almost tipped 200lbs. That's really not good.

Last Monday I went in for my 6 week check up with my OB. I weighed 170lbs.

I could have sworn that I lost more than that. Ever since that day, I've had a complex about that number. I have to fit back into my size medium clothes. I refuse to buy a whole new wardrobe for work. I have 6 weeks to get back to somewhat normal.

Chris and I are going on a low carb diet together. Hopefully we can stick to it. We're not doing very good so far but we are adjusting what we take in our body. With Bailey being around, she takes up most of my time and I forget to eat. I get to snack a lot.

The other thing I have to keep in mind is that I'm 31. It's going to be a lot harder to lose the weight than when I was 25.

That and my mother happily pointed out this past weekend that I'm still fat and she wants her beautiful daughter back. Thanks mother. Let me just go shoot myself.

Here starts a journey I never thought I'd have to face.

Neighborly love.... and other ramblings

There are different kinds of neighbors....

1. The kind that comes over whenever asking random questions thinking that they are welcomed and/or thinking that they are your friend. This particular neighbor moved back into our neighborhood after about 2 years of hiatus. He saw me getting out of my car and thought he'd rekindle whatever friendship we had. What a joke. He's broke, no job, no money, no manners. Since I'm too nice to tell him to fuck off when he comes over to use the phone, he keeps coming back. Finally I had to use my unspoken language of 'You're bugging the shit out of me, please leave us alone'. I think he got the hint since we haven't seen him in a few days.

It wouldn't bother me so much if he would just use the phone and get out. But no.... he dials 1o different numbers, hang out in our hall way knowing that we have a newborn, talk excessively to whomever about whatever for however long. RUDE! Then he asks for a ride somewhere. What do you think dude? No, I'm not giving you a ride, I got 2 kids and one of which is an infant. And no, you can not borrow my car. Take the bus. Wouldn't you know it, he asks for bus money.

Loser!

2. The kind that comes to introduce themselves and let us know they have a new baby also and would love to get together someday. How nice! These are the people upstairs. We hadn't met them until this day. It was 100 degrees out and they were going somewhere else to cool off for the day with the baby.

3. The neighbor that houses 6 roommates in one apartment and constantly have 20 of their friends over to smoke out in the backyard. Their TV is on at all hours of the night and there are constantly people sitting outside their front steps smoking.

4. The neighbor who have no idea what their bounderies are and spread their shit whereever they please.

This morning... ok around noon time today I go out to get the mail and wouldn't you know it, there's a strange car parked in our driveway. I knock on the neighbor's door to see if it's theirs. No one is home. I call the landlord, he told me to just have it towed. We work on that until I noticed that someone is home across the walkway. I go over there and wa-la! It's their car. I said I called a tow truck since it's my driveway you're parked in. They crumbled up my note and threw it in our driveway. Thanks jackasses. If you want to park in our driveway, pay part of our rent.

5. Our maintenance guy who lives upstairs. Single guy, lives with his son, has no furniture but a ton of work out equipment in the living room and a tv. Nicest guy though. His son decided to have a mosh pit in his room one day with the music so loud I could sing along while it was coming through the ceiling. oy!

Neighbor rant

The day I lost my clutch...
One day last week I went to Milpitas to pick up Reese's birthday present. A bicycle. Him and sister were at my mother in law's while I was running errands. I was exiting 280 at Saratoga when I went to down shift and my clutch pedal disappeared into the floor board. OK... time to FREAK OUT! I managed to coast up the ramp and through the green light to the Velero station. My clutch was gone. They have to replace it. $700 later.....

Reese's birthday
Sunday we threw Reese a birthday party. We had about 12 people including kids in our house. Luckily it wasn't 100 degrees. He had a great time! Derek and Ryan Dante were here. It's the one day we allowed Reese to run around be loud and make a big mess. Of course, it was worth it. He got a bunch of clothes and really cool toys. I don't know another kid with as many toys as he has. I really have to stop buying him toys. I can't imagine Bailey having as much stuff. But then again, she has more clothes than we do, so maybe that will be her niche.... clothes!

And then there's the baby that doesn't sleep!
Bailey stays up all day!! I don't know how she's not tired. Maybe she is, she just likes to fight with it. Every kid has their querks I guess.

Pork Chop

Our little pork chop has her own personality now. Chris calls it 'attitude'. She's starting to smile and talk a little. It's the most adorable thing to hear her coo. She's the love of Chris's life and sunshine in mine.

1 month 1 week

Our little Bailey is 5 weeks old today!

10 Random reasons I love my husband

10 - He looks really good in glasses

9 - He's a natural at being a daddy

8 - He's my definition of 'unconditional love'

7 - He lets me be me

6 - He puts his family first

5 - He's a gentleman

4 - He doesn't mind watching chick flicks and lets me cry all over his shirt

3 - He never ever gets angry... a little irritated maybe, but never angry

2 - He spoils me

1 - I get to be married to him :-)

Happy Birthday Bailey Bean!!

Our little precious girl is ONE MONTH old today!!

Last night she slept through the night. Only because she stayed awake all day! She slept from 10pm to 6am. It actually startled me! It was daylight by the time she started making her noises. She didn't even cry!

She drank her bottle and then some. What a little piggy!

Reese loves to hold her and kiss her and smother her. He helps me with every day chores especially when it comes to her. Bath time, feeding time, etc.

We try to go to a park every day. Switching off to different locations so Reese doesn't get bored. And so I don't get bored either!

Hiatus from Renegades

Well not really on hiatus from Renegades since Chris is still marching and I'm still around as a spectator.

It feels really weird watching from the stands.

This past Saturday I went to Sunnyvale to see my first drum corps show this year. I watched them warm up... saw a bunch of friends and showed up baby girl. Well, her dad did more of that than me I think. He's so proud of her.

When they got into uniform and walked towards the field to line up. I felt this emptiness like I'm suppposed to be there in line with them walking on. Then I went inside and took a seat holding Bailey watching the show. It was weird to be sitting in the audience watching these guys this year. I should be on the field performing. I can't do that anymore.

At least not for a long time.

I watched Chris march the show as intensely as ever. He had the same look in his eyes as in 04 when we got together. I want to be there with him always.... but I can't.

These are the moments I give up when we decide to have a baby I guess. It was a sad time for me....

Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow.

Life Lessons on Raising a Girl... for Daddy

Excerpts taken from a coffee table book by Harry Harrison

*** Be forwarned.... not for the sensitive and tender hearted***

Raising a girl takes two parents:

A mom to show her how to be a woman.

A dad to show her how to be independent.

A dad's job is to make his daughter courageous. Fearless. To ake her feel beautiful. To give her a sense of adventure. To make her feel secure and confident.

The relationship between a dad and a daughter is very simple: She will love her father and trust him completely, forever.

Because he's her first love. Her first hero. The first man in her life.

The wonder years....

• Accept the fact that she will melt your heart anytime she chooses.
• Take part in her life now. Don't wait until she's 15 to try and develop a relationship.
• When you get home from work, hold her as much as possible.This is for your benefit as much as hers.
• Sing to her while you're rocking her. She'll love hearing your voice as much as you love the bonding.
• Tell her from day one that she can accomplish anything.
• Let her sleep on your chest when she's a baby. This is when the world begins to make sense.
• Memorize her face. Her eyes. Her hands. She'll be memorizing everything about you.
• Give her baths. Do not leave this to mom alone. It's pure magic.
• Her mom will show her how to bake cookies. You show her how to dunk them in milk.
• Know that while you will never understand her thing for dolls, you will buy more of them than you can possibly imagine.
• Emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy girls are raised in a loving atmosphere. Do all you can to creat a tranquil home.
• Be prepared to watch a Disney movie with her some 200 times.
• Tickle her, play with her, give her piggyback rides. She's not breakable.
• Never lost the wonder of watching her and her mother together.
• Relish the moment when she toddles up and for no reason at all throws her arms around your neck. Resist the urge to buy her the world.
• Trust her mom to understand the mystery of little girls. You have yet to figure out the mystery of big ones.
• Never, ever, make fun of her.
• Bear in mind that from the very beginning your personality will shape her.
• Realize that as you shape her, she will shape you.
• Always remember, she can do anything a boy can do.
• Brush her hair occationally. You'll be amazed how long she'll want you to do this.
• Never forget that supportive fathers produce daughters with high self-esteem.
• Read to her often. Very soon, she'll be reading to you.
• Give her a picture of you to put in her first purse. If you're lucky, she'll always carry a photo of you.
• Buy her a jungle gym. However, if she falls off that jungle gym, disregard those thoughts about killing yourself.
• Encourage her to play with boys.
• Play catch with her. Even if the ball is pink and covered with glitter.
• Dance with her always. She'll never be too young. Or old.
• Give her a Valentine's Day card... every year.
• Ask about her day, every day. Share her wonder.
• Keep her secrets. This way she will begin to trust men.
• Write this down. Girls cry. A lot.
• Show her how to play poker.
• Teach her not to be afraid of boys, but to be ready to challenge them.

_______________________________________

More another day...... this is making me cry!

Entertaining myself....and the kids....

I'm in my 6th week of being home on maternity leave. 4th week of actual FMLA. The first 2 didn't count because those were Disability leave... you get 12 weeks after baby's born off of work - paid.

The first couple weeks off were great. I got a lot done at home. Bailey's room came together. Reese was at school still.

...and then I ran out of things to do.... Reese is out of school and he can't sit still for nothing.

Baby came and all we can focus on is baby Bailey. I had a hard time trying to recover the first couple of weeks. My body didn't bounce back like it did when I had Reese. I swelled up like a bolloon from water and being in bed for days. I'm still fat.

There's another issue right there. With Reese I gained 21lbs. and lost it all the week after he came out. But I had Postpartum Depression... I'd rather be fat than go through the depression again. That SUCKED!

This time... I'm not losing the weight quite the same rate, but I'm not going through the depression. So.... Gold's Gym here I come!!

I want my fabulous abs back
I want my butt to fit into my size 8's again
I want to keep these B cup boobs!

I want to fit into my clothes again... have I already mentioned that? That's my only complex right now. No way am I going to buy a whole new wardrobe just because I'm 2 pant sizes bigger right now.

That and my mother happily pointed out that I got fat and I must lose weight. Not that I want to do what she says... but I'll never hear the end of it if I don't do something about it.

Meanwhile.... Bailey gained 2lbs. in 4 weeks!

Random Facts about Bailey

• She's got her daddy wrapped around her little finger the minute she was born.
• She's eating 4oz of formula every few hours. (I know babies who are 6 months old eating that much... she's only 4 weeks old)
• She quivers her bottom lip when she cries really hard. No tears though.
• Her hair is falling off her head everyday.
• I can't wait til I can give her pigtails.
• She has more clothes than Chris and I.
• She won't repeat an outfit once she can fit into them.
• She has a major cow before she falls asleep. Like she's always fighting it.
• She sleeps 4-5 hour stretches at night. Thank god!
• She's more comfortable in her daddy's arms than anyone.
• She recognizes my voice, Reese's, and her daddy's.
• She HATES the carseat.
• She will not sleep on her back.
• She doesn't like being naked and/or taking a bath.
• Her nicknames are Bailey-Bean and Bubba-girl and Princess.
• She got my hands and feet and her daddy's bowed legs, eyebrows, long torso, and attitude.
• She is spoiled rotten.

Hospital roommate from hell

Since I have a few minutes before Bailey wakes up from her nap. I have to share my experience of recovering with a roommate in the hospital. Granted, I was only there for one night and half a day, I really wanted to strangle my roommate.

First of all, I was put in that room first because Bailey came early in the AM and my roommate came in at around 3pm. Young, really young (19-21 year old at most) Vietnamese girl with her "husband" and her entire family. With that, I mean her mom, dad, his mom, his dad, 2 sets of grandparents, aunt, uncle, and a couple of friends.

Now, if you are of Asian decent, which I am half of, you'd know that the Viets live with their entire 3-4 generations of families in one house. I do respect the fact that they value family, but there are limits.

The room was small first of all, and I'm shoved on the inside bed since I was there first. Which is fine because I have a curtain and I have first dibs on the TV channels. The SHARED restroom, however, was on her side and her area was covered with bodies of her families and friends visiting until 9pm. They are talking over each other as if they had no idea that there's another patient in the next bed recovering also. The elderly couple (her grandparents I assume) kept looking, more like gawking at me... even when I was trying to nurse Bailey. I said to them a few times "What are you looking at?" and they just smiled at me.

HOW ANNOYING!!

I had friends and family who came by to visit and it was impossible to get into the room. I finally had to use the restroom later in the day so I trekked over there with my IV pole and help from Chris. They wouldn't move! They could barely hear me say "Excuse me!" since they were all talking at once. Finally they moved but not quite out of the way. Their elderly were sitting right in front of the restroom doors and they had to be helped up and walk. She (the girl who had the baby) gave me this look as if I was inconveniencing them. I said "There is another patient in this room too". They were quiet for a while.

I get into the restroom and she had left a bloody mess in there. I'm not going to bother explaining what the mess was, I think you all know what I'm talking about. I called the nurse to come clean it up and she thought I made the mess. UGH!!! I go in there to use the restroom finally and ALL MY MEDICAL SUPPLIES WERE GONE!! She took them! My pads, my tusk pads, my antiseptic spray, and my cleansing bottle. I couldn't go pee without having that stuff!! I had to walk back out, interrupted her family bonding moment and asked her if she TOOK MY STUFF!! She said she thought it was all there for her. NO WACKO, your nurse will bring your shit! I was here first, this shit was for ME!! I called the nurse and told her I needed new supplies. I FINALLY got to use the restroom after a half hour ordeal which I shouldn't have had to deal with in the first place.

Visiting hours were over at 8pm. My friends and family (including Chris) left by 8pm. There was no room for him to sleep there and this would have been his last 'good' night of rest anyway, he went home. My roommate's friends and family would NOT leave! I asked my nurse when visiting hours were over and she told me she would get rid of them for me. They all finally left by 9 except her 'husband'. (she referred to him as both boyfriend and husband).

I nursed Bailey and we were both going down for some sleep by 11pm. Then I hear SLUUUUURP from the other side of the curtain. They were eating 2 big ass bowls of Pho. Vietnamese noodle soup. I get out of bed and peaked in from my curtain and asked them "DO YOU MIND?" she said "Oh, sorry". They must think I'm the biggest bitch on the block by now.

Her nurse wheeled in her baby around the same time. Now there's comotion since now she has to be prompted by an English speaking nurse for a half hour about the baby. This girl has no maternal insticts what so ever. Even if this is your first kid and you're totally clueless, you would read up and be less clueless than this girl. Seriously, she had NO IDEA what to do.

Her 'husband' finally left at around 1am. Lights are off on my side and her baby is quiet as well as mine. Her nurse comes in and finds her nursing the baby. "I thought you didn't want to breastfeed, how long have you been at it?" she replied "Oh about a half hour". She said that she thought she would try it. Well, the baby had had formula in the nursery (she was told this, but apparently she wasn't paying attention) so now she's overfeeding her baby. The baby throws up. She freaks out.

All throughout the night it was lights on lights off lights on lights off...... NURSE!!! NURSE!!!

Am I still even in the room? Is Bailey still in here? Does she even take us into consideration?

She asked the nurse "Can I have my own room? I don't like being with a stranger." YOU THINK I DO???? I should get my own room I was there first!!

Around 4am the nurse comes in and she's still up for some reason. The nurse asks her "When was the last time you changed her diaper?" .... "I'm changing her diaper?" she asks. The nurse is telling her all the basics that she needs to do and then told her that she's bringing her a Vietnamese version of baby care instructions. Thank GOD! You would think that with all her family around her she would know what to do!

About an hour later her baby throws up again. NURSE!!!! she called for help. The nurse comes in and apparently she's been nursing the baby for an hour and also giving her formula. I feel so bad for this baby already.

Her baby is in her hospital crib right up against my curtain which is right up against my bed. I can hear every breath of both my baby and hers through the rest of the night. Her baby would cry and I would wake up thinking it's Bailey. 9 out of 10 times it's her baby. Except that when her baby cried she would SHAKE THE CRIB!! I called for a nurse after the 3rd time she did that and told her. She stopped shaking the crib but started yelling WHOA WHOA WHOA for the baby to stop crying.

She would feed her baby while the baby is sleeping but pay no attention while she's crying. Hello!! McFly!! when baby cries, that usually means she's HUNGRY or she needs to be changed, not yelled at or shaken!

She fell asleep with baby at her breast. I really didn't want to witness her suffocating her baby while I'm the only one in the room with her.

The next day at 7am, her family returned. All the noise and chaos started all over again just when I was able to get an hour of sleep. The nurse asked if they can keep it down for me and at least 4 people looked over at my side of the curtain. WHAT??? Why do you need to look?? At 9am when visiting hours began, Chris got there. My doctor already signed my discharge papers at that point so we were just waiting for Bailey to be discharged. It took until 2pm, but we finally could pack up and go home.

They wheeled the wheelchair in for me and Bailey to leave and again, they wouldn't move. They are going to make my hospital stay miserable to the last freakin' minute.

Now that we're home and it's very peaceful here I pray to any god that that baby will be ok.

Ok, I'm done with my story!

Bailey is here!

Our Bailey is here!!

Wow! It's been a while since I've written anything in here. Well, it seems like we have begun a new life now that the little one has arrived.

Let's see... Where do I even begin??

Let's go back to the weeks approaching the delivery.

I thought I'd be pregnant forever! Bailey was 3 days overdue by the time I felt any significant pain. I stopped working on June 2 ( my last day was June 2) and stayed home thinking that she will come early like her brother did. I ended up sitting at home feeling really big and not able to do much. Reese was out of school for the summer and I couldn't really take him anywhere or do much with him.

On her due date of June 16, Reese and I went to a park to just play and hang out. I thought my water had broken because I felt some extra wetness 'down there'. I waited til the afternoon to go to the hospital thinking it's not really a big deal. The nurse told me that my water hasn't broken yet and it was in fact my bladder leaking because Bailey was pushing down with her head.

They called my doctor to come check me out. He determined that I needed some gentle encouragement. He stripped my cervix to help the contractions come a little quicker. That was Friday afternoon. I went through the entire weekend with small contractions about 1o-15 minutes apart. Nothing too significant.

Monday morning 3am I couldn't sleep too comfortably anymore. The pain was getting more intense by the minute. I moved into the baby's room where the recliner is with some blankets and a clock to time the contractions. The pain got unbarable by 6am. I woke up Chris and Reese and we headed out to the hospital. I swear I was going to explode in the car!

We get to the hospital and had to go through the emergency entrance because it's after hours. The clerk checking me in put me in a wheelchair and began asking all the general questions. Chris and Reese had to wait in another area since there wasn't enough room for them to sit with me. I'm keeled over in pain every few minutes and the dude asks me "Are you here with abdominal pain?"..... urrr.... "I'm in fucking labor!" I do believe those words came out of my mouth.

7:30-ish we finally get up stairs to Labor and Delivery. Kelly is already there waiting for Reese. (she didnt have to check in like I did) I get settled in with the nurse's help. My one absolutely WONDERFUL nurse who was there with us the ENTIRE time. The stupid monitor thingy wasn't detecting my contractions at all. I kept watching it when I'd get one... nope... nothing on there. I told the nurse that I'm having them every 3-4 minutes but it's not registering, she said she can see that I'm in labor and not to worry about the machine. She checks me, I'm at 4cm now.... she gives me pain meds. Woooo eeeeeeeee..... I'm high as a kite! The pains are still there but they are now more managable.

Note to self: This would have been a good time to ask for the Epideral.

The doctor has been called, he's on his way now. It's about 8:15. The nurse checked me again... I'm at 6cm. Holy crap that was fast. I'm now fully effaced, the baby's head is right there. She gives me more pain meds.The doctor got there around 9:15am. We chatted it up a little and then he checks me out. I'm at 9cm and baby's pushing her way out now. NOW I asked for the Epideral. The doc said "Um, no, it's too late for that, the baby is going to come out now, you need to start pushing"WHAT???? NO!!! Chris said that the expression on my face was priceless when he said I couldn't have the Epideral. After about 5 series of pushing... screaming... clawing... sweating... shaking... Bailey arrived at 9:48am.

I thought I was going to die. I thought she would never come out. I pushed and pushed with all my might. One push before the last she came out side ways and got sucked back in because I couldn't bare down anymore. When she finally came out, the doc had to stop when her head was fully out and turn her around so he can suction her mouth out. She cried. Then I pushed the rest of her out.Then the pain was gone. Just like that. No tearing, no epesiodemy, no complications. They put her up to me to start nursing right away. She's still got all the birth gunk on her (they cleaned her up just enough).

She's still gray in color, but she got that latch-on to the boob thing down from the minute she was born! They are still working on cleaning me and prepping me for recovery at this point. They came and took her to get her bath and weight, length, accessments and to give her shots. Now I go to a recovery room. Family and friends came to visit while Bailey was still in the nursery. They all make their trek to the nursery to see her while I'm laying in the bed still. There was a big gap of time between when they took her and when they brought her back. EVERYONE else got to see her!! Chris kept going back to the nursery to see her and give me updates on what they are doing with her. He's the only one who has access inside the nursery so he got some pictures of her getting her first bath, etc. I had no pain after her birth. My muscles are extremely sore and I'm swollen from the water weight. My belly still looks like I'm about 4 months prego. It's all good. I'll join a gym. I took one motrin every 8-10 hours for the soreness and now I don't feel anymore.

Tuesday my doctor came in to do a check up and he discharged me right away. The baby's doctor came in to check on her and she discharges her also. We've all been home since Tuesday and all our attention has been on the girl. Reese hasn't been forgotten, he's been a huge help. We got him a little pool for the backyard since it's been 100 degrees out. I feel kinda bad because he likes going to the park/playground and now we can't go anywhere for a while. We're going to get him involved in local activities though.

Chris has been taking pictuers non-stop! He's so proud. Bailey looks like both of us (I know newborns look like aliens). She's got Chris's long torso and short bowed legs and his nose.... my feet and hands and cheekbones. She's got lots of hair... everywhere! Shoulder hair and back hair too.

Rain Rain Go Away....

Come again another day.....
All the children want to play....
Rain, rain, go away...

Reese has been singing that song the last few days. Just because it's been non-stop rain here. We finally have a back yard and he doesn't even get to go play outside. Fortunately, last weekend when Derek came over, they got to go run around outside for a while. Yesterday was a really good day and the sun came out and stayed out all day. Today is looking good so far and Reese might just get to go play soccer after school. Although I just looked at the forecast and it's supposed to start raining at around 3pm. ugh.

Tomorrow Chris and I are going to look for something to decorate Bailey's room with. Probably a border ledge of some sort. We want the Secret Garden bedding and decor from Lambs Ivy. We already registered for it and hopefully get it. (see picture). Maybe we'll get a window covering or something to start. First off we have to clean the room and Reese's room. Chris and I both hate blinds as window covering. Or just having blinds and nothing else. It just doesn't feel like home. It feels like a dorm.

Other than that.... I just don't feel like being at work today at all.

Chris is taking the day off from work and is with his brother probably at Garden City of Bay 101 doing their thing. I have so much stuff to do but I don't feel like doing any of it. Maybe I can just leave and not come back after I drop off Reese. lol.

Routine

This morning we woke up, showered, got dressed and I walked out of our bedroom to prepare lunch and snacks. I hear Reese's TV on down the hall. .... oh he's already up, cool.

Reese: "Hi mom! I woke up when your music was on"
Ok, that tells me that when our alarm went off he woke up... that was at 6:30am.
Me: "What did you want for breakfast? Purple or Red pb&j?"
Reese: "I already had one mom"
Me: "Oh... ok..... can you change into your school clothes?"
Reese: "Sure! I can do it all by myself ok?"
Me: "Alrighty... I guess I can go now...."

Can we do this everyday????

I mean.. It's never a struggle to wake him up in the morning really. But this is so much easier!!

31 almost 32 weeks

For the first time in my life I felt those Braxton-Hicks contractions. It was yesterday while driving home from my mom's. It scared the living shit out of me. When I was pregnant with Reese, I didn't experience any contractions until I was induced with patocin in the hospital after my water already broke.

I came home and told Chris and realized that I am scared. It's a sign that this baby is coming soon and my body is 'warming up' for the real thing. The difference is that I know what to expect this time and Chris is there with me. Doesn't take the fear away completely however.

I read another blog this morning of a friend who just found out that she is pregnant. They have been trying for quite some time. In fact about 7 months... around the same time that we got pregnant. She finally getting her lifelong wish of becoming a mother. Having her own family. A baby is a precious gift and I'm sure she realizes that just by talking with her and reading her posts.

Some of the things that she wrote on her blog makes me think about how I am doing as a parent. Of course every mom criticizes themselves every day. If not, I think you have an issue. Every day I thank my lucky stars that Reese is a good boy and that this little girl inside me will come out the same if not better. I know that it takes the effort of the parents to mold your child into who they grow up to be. 50% of the time. 50% if it is them wanting to be that person and willing to work with you. One of the things that I did with Reese was when he started the tantrum thing I tried to stop it from day one. I'm sure I'm not the first one to try that, but with him, it worked for the most part.

I just know that Reese needs a lot of love and TLC being the sensitive guy that he is.

Happy Hump Day

Does anyone say that anymore? Or am I just a couple of years behind on the lingo thing.

Yesterday I had another prenatal check up. I hate the waiting in the room part. Just because when I get there, I'm already pressed for time and it's a ways from where we live. Oh well.

The doc did get on my case for not having taken my Glucose test yet. I just haven't had time to do it unfortunately. I know I have to for good reasons so I will do it this weekend fo' sho'! I have to take another blood test for Anemia. Guess I should have been taking those monster vitamins.

He also said that I'm gaining too much weight too fast. The Glucose test will show whether or not I have Gestational Diabetes and if the baby will be a pork chop when she comes out.

Some nicknames we have for Bailey already - Bailey-Bean, Booba-girl, Beanster, Bailey-lalley, Pork-chop. Reese calls her Belly, Sissy, Baby girl. She's not going to know her name until she's like 7 years old. lol.

30 Weeks

Jesus holy mother of god...... I'm 10 weeks from my due date????

No babies I know have been born on their due date unless you were induced or scheduled a c-section. So Bailey will probably want to come out sooner like her brother did.

Chris and I are getting more and more excited as I get bigger and bigger by the day. Speaking of which, I have to take a picture of my belly here soon. It's been a few weeks since we last posted a picture.

I'm having issues walking up and down stairs. Out of breath all the damn time. I can't put on my socks and shoes as easily anymore. Although I can still see my feet. Thank god. My fingers and toes are a little swollen, you can't tell just looking at me, but I can feel my rings are getting tighter and my toes tingle a little at the end of the day.

This weekend is yet another crazy weekend because guess what??? We're moving!! April 1st we move into a 3 bedroom apt next door to where we live now. The landlord loved us from the moment we met. AAAAAAAAND he's letting me paint Bailey's room. yey!! I'm going to stamp the walls with flowers and butterflies. Maybe I will paint a mural.... oh so many options!!

Katie's shower is tomorrow. I think we're ready to go with that. All we have to do is cook up some stuff tonight and buy some flowers tomorrow before we get there.

There's also an 8am soccer game. I think that's just punishment for the parents! Christ! I don't want to be up at 6:30am if I don't have to be!!

Busy Weekend

I need a vacation from this past weekend.... geez!!

It all started Friday after work with Reese's soccer practice. We didn't expect there would be practice since it was supposed to rain Friday. So after work I rushed to go get him and then rushed home to change him into soccer gear then rushed to practice.

We get there and it's freezing and only half the team was there. grrrr.... The coach let the kids go early since it was St. Patty's day and he had no help coaching. The field was quite muddy so we all ended up going home with muddy kids. I changed Reese right there on the sideline since I didn't want muddy shoes in my car. lol.

Chris's car is in the shop so after soccer we went to his work to pick him up. Then we finally get to go home.

Saturday morning Reese had a soccer game. 11am game that he didn't get to play in because he didn't have the team shorts on. The league owner came by and saw that 3 of our kids weren't wearing the right shorts. They gave us size medium short, which would have fallen right off of Reese. So us parents with smaller kids went and bought black shorts for them to wear. NOPE can't play.... That's really ok with Reese since he was really intimidated by everything that was happening that day.

Then I had a hundred errands to run....

Then we took Reese up to my mom's in Hayward for the night so we can go out and have dinner with Kelly for her birthday. Haven't had Spaghetti Factory in a long time. It was really yummy. Of course I had a mud pie for dessert.... mostly on my own. Chris had to roll me out of the restaurant afterwards. lol.

Sunday we had a Childbirth Preparation class at Kaiser. The new Kaiser facility. It was enlightening to say the least. I learned a lot of new things that I didn't experience before or seen on TV. I was the only one in the room who's ever gone through a childbirth previously. Chris learned a lot too. He now knows what to expect when we go into labor. I'm hoping I have the same labor that I had with Reese. Which was hardly any! My water broke (leaked) I went into the hospital and we waited for the contractions to come and it never did. They gave me Petocin and then drugs. A few hours later Reese came out.

That was almost 6 years ago....

I can't believe that I'm going to go through the diaper years again!!

It's ok... because we're finally going to have our girl!

28 Weeks

We are at about 6 months pregnant so far.

I've gained 22lbs. as of today.

I gained a total of 21lbs at 40 weeks with Reese.

Not that I'm complaining. I actually feel a lot more healthy this time around than last. Reese is a healthy and happy kid so I'm not worried. We heard Bailey's heart beating today also. My next thing is I have to take the glucose test for diabetes. NOT looking forward to that at all.

When the weather gets better I really have to go for walks.

Or something. lol

Call off the dogs

I found my camera!!

It was in my scrapbooking bag. In the folds where I would never put it. It must have fallen in there when I tried to throw it back in my purse on Saturday.

Whew!!!

Monday still sucks

Today as I get out of my car this morning I discovered that my camera wasn't in my purse. wtf? I know I had it Saturday because I was showing Robyn and Kelly pictures that were in the camera. Last night I was at the SCV Spaghetti dinner, left my purse in another room in the busy bingo hall.... 4 hours later when it was all over I went back into the room to retreive everything... never bothered to look. I knew that my keys and my wallet were in my purse.

grrrrr....

I called Jeff to see if he can locate it. I thought maybe it fell out. No such luck. Dammit. There were 175 pictures on that stick. I haven't even had that camera that long.

I still have to check the apartment and the car. Maybe, hopefully, it's in there.

It would really suck it someone took it.

25 Weeks

Ok, it's been crazy busy here at work. Which is fine, makes my days go by much faster. Although I do have to say... what the heck was I doing before that kept me busy? lol.

Baby is doing good. She's very active, especially when I'm trying to relax. Chris talks to her as often as he can. He talks to my belly and she moves around in there when she hears him. I think it's adorable.

Last weekend I went and visited an old friend who moved to Woodland, CA. It's way out there on the way to Redding. Not too bad of a drive except that I should have known to take a different route home. Oh well, I'm here now. Anywho, my friend has 2 daughters and a son. Plus with Reese, that's 4 kids. We took them to the local hang out .... McDonald's! They have a huge playland that the kids can just run amok.
The little one, Morgan, is ADORABLE. I wanted to snatch her up and take her home. Reese liked her too (only because she had toys that he's never seen. She's got a whole Pottery Barn kids thing going on in there.

In other news...

Chris and I did our taxes last week. We e-filed it so our $$$$ should hit the bank within the next few days or so. Woo hoO!! Baby furniture store here we come!!

22 Weeks

It's been a while since I wrote something in here.

Work has been crazy since Suzanne has been gone so I haven't really had the time to look around on the internet much. Which is a good thing since my day goes by so much faster like that.

So.....

Last week I felt like I was crippled by back pain. I've had the same pain for a year and it's only gotten worse. I think being pregnant and putting on weight probably isn't helping. My company's insurance does not cover chiropractic care. That and I have never been a believer in going to get 'adjusted' and suddenly feel better. Anyone can adjust you. My kid can walk on my back a few laps and my back will crack eventually.

I've been complaining of the same back pain to people off and on lately because I'm not walking normal and I sound like I'm 80 when I get up off my chair or sit back down. Pete (the owner of my company) came in and told me to go ahead and schedule an appointment at his chiropractor's office. (He pays for everyone's visits when they go) I'm in too much pain constantly to refuse that. I had an appointment the next day. I think I was just afraid that they would have to take an x-ray and that's not good for baby.

Doctor Hoffman turns out to be a chiropractor specializing in pediatrics and prenatal care. woo hoo for me! She took measurements of my legs since my pain was more concentrated on the lower lombar region in the left hip area. The first discover is that my left hip sits higher than my right by a little less than one inch. That resulted in my bottom 2 vertibre tilting to the left to make up for the height when I am standing or walking. Everytime I am standing or walking or putting weight on my left leg, the 2 vertibre pinches the main nerve line that runs down my left leg.

THAT explains everything.

She pushes and shoves and did an ultrasound therapy and rubbed my butt. Not the good relaxing kind of rubbing either. Then she turned on the table and it stretched out my legs. Slowly the pain begins to go away. The last thing she did was she laid me on my right side. Worked out the knot that's been there for months. She then took my left knee under her right arm, pushed my left hip out with her left hand and separated my back from my leg by a huge CRACK!

It was instant relief. If I can do that myself or have Chris do it for me. I'd be in heaven everyday.

I walked out of her office with no pain. A little numb in the area from all the rubbing and heat therapy. But no more pain. It was like a miracle. I walked in there crooked to one side and then walked out straightened and pain-free. Unfortunately I do have to keep going back to her because my hip will fall back to that position if I don't keep getting adjusted. I guess that's just how they make their money. I really don't want to say that I need a chiropractor, but hopefully it wil eventually be worked out and gone forever. Or so she says anyway. She also said that being pregnant and putting the alignment out of whack also has something to do with it. So maybe when Bailey's born, I'll be able to walk normal and keep it normal.

In other news.....

Reese has been signed up for spring soccer in Campbell. Games begin March 11 through June 11. He's going to practice twice a week after school. Chris and I are going to do our best getting him into it and hopefully keep him interested. I think at this point he's thinking that it's running around kicking a ball with some friends. Maybe it is at his age. I don't know what to expect yet. The guy registering him in said that they have really good, dedicated coaches and team parents that they won't let things get out of hand since Reese is being put into the bigger age-group due to his birthday landing on the cut-off date. It sucks because he will literally be the youngest one in the team, no matter which team. He can't play in the under 6 group, he will have to play in the under 8 group. We'll find out if he will be able to stick with it. I just know that he will get at little beat up by the older kids. But I'm being a mom.... and I don't want him to get beat up like that. I'll take those kids down myself!

Well I can't think of anything else to write right now...except the fact that I'm getting really big. It's ok. My husband loves me and both boys are already CRAZY about this baby.

Happy Birthday Bailey

So Friday night I had dinner with some girlfriends at a trendy restaurant in Santana Row. Katie, Karen and Aparjot. We're planning for Katie's bridal shower coming up in March and just wanted to get together for dinner, just the girls.

I don't know the other two girls but I know Katie pretty well. We talked about random stuff at dinner as if we all have known each other for years. Gotta love that about girls.

Katie brought up the fact that things that have happened with me so far has been exactly as planned and that just DOESN'T happen with anyone else. It reminded me of how lucky we have been so far. Hopefully, keeping fingers crossed, everything will go as planned in the future as well. First we planned to be married in October... we were. We planned to be pregnant by November.... we were. We hope and pray that this baby is a girl... it is. Now we just hope and pray some more that she is a healthy happy girl!

Speaking of Bailey....

Chris and I realized that her birthday according to the doctor is June 16, 2006. That would make it 6/16/06.... and if she's born 10 days early like her brother did... the date would be

6/6/06

ARGGHHH! Devil Child!!

20 Weeks

Today we had our 20 week ultrasound done.

It's the half way point of our pregnancy.

I'm getting bigger every day. This baby is very active!!

On the ultrasound screen there was no doubt that this baby is a girl. Chris saw everything while the ultrasound technician was taking measurements and checking all my insides. The screen was turned away from me while she was wanding my belly. I wish I had seen everything she and Chris were seeing. That's ok. Chris made tons of faces at me and he had an ear to ear smile the whole time.

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!

Pink clothes, pink bedding, pink carseat, pink mommy!!

Reese is probably very happy this baby is a girl. He's now escape my wrath of dressing him in pink!!

Head over Feet

This song by Alanis Morrisette has been on the radio forever. I never thought anything of it until fate brought me to Chris. This song represents everything I feel for him. He is an amazing man and soon he will have the ultimate gift... a daughter.

Head over feet lyrics:
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help itIt's all your faults

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience
You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long
I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now, I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help itIt's all your faults

Monday sucks

Today isn't so bad actually. Could have used a little more sleep, but that's ok. Chris always begs me to go to bed earlier and I just can't for some reason. I would like to, but I'm just not tired before 10pm. I'm sure this baby will kick my ass soon though. I'll be whining for some sleep before I know it.

Today I'm here at work by myself pretty much. Princess in the other room doesn't count. The boss just stepped out to grab lunch, who knows when he'll be back. Big B left because she's sick. Thank god, I don't want to catch anything she's got right now. Reese doesn't have school today, so he's at the babysitter all day. I brought my lunch, so it looks like I'm buried in bullshit here all day in peace. Wish I can have more days like this.

Princess = Girl who doesn't think before she speaks. She sits in the other room pretending like she knows everything and isn't afraid to tell you she knows everything. Grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth and HAS to have new things at all times. She tries really hard to fit in, but just doesn't. Everyone knows someone like her.

The other day, she offered John (guy helping me answer the phones) if he wanted something from Starbucks. She was making a run over there. I hadn't had my coffee yet (I drink decaf people, calm down) so I poked my head out and stopped her at the door. "Hey can you get me something?" She goes "Oh my car only has 2 cup holders and Chuck already put in an order". What the fuck? I just heard you offer to pick something up for John, and now you can't pick something up for me? She goes "Oh well I guess if you order a small one I can carry it"

Ok.. you know what... forget it.... it's ok. It's obviously too much trouble for you.

What the heck is that?? She does this shit all the time. It's not like I work with 400 others in here where I can just pick and choose who I want to talk to from day to day. No!! I'm stuck with this. ugh.

Big B = She's the older lady I work with here. Suz and I came up with that name for her. It was 'Crazy Bitch', but we were afraid she would catch on. lol. God we're evil!

Anywho.... I better get back to work. People want their 1099's I suppose.

Preliminary ultrasound result.....

It's a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We saw her...... there was no pee pee..... :-)

It's not our official 20 week ultrasound. Our doc gave us a chance to look because we waited so long to see him. He's 99% sure it's a girl.

Chris got his Bailey Taylor. Reese got his little sister. We have a daughter on the way.

YEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh I miss marching....

This weekend is the Renegades camp. Chris is there... I knew I'd miss him as soon as he walked out the door. But for some reason I feel like I've been abendoned somewhat. Not to make it sound aweful...but if I could march, I would. Life in the Renegades move on with or without me. The Renegades has been a part of me since 2003... and now at its peak, I'm not a part of it anymore.

For a lot of reasons I know I will never have any regrets of being there. I made many friends and some are life time friends. Every person in the corps has something special that makes it them. Everyone has their own place that touched my life in some way along the 3 years. I appreciate every minute of my Renegades time.

Let's recap...

My first year, 2003.... I was asked by good friend and mentor Kathy P to join. In June at PP. I thought about it for about a month. We tried working out the babysitting schedule with both our boys. The main reason I didn't want to march was because I was a single mom. It wasn't fair for either Reese or myself to be gone so much when he depends on me and only me. My mom was very kind and she helped with Reese when I decided to take on drum corps again. But at the same time, it was only end of July through the first week of September.... it couldn't be that bad. Kathy and I ...and Ron and I spent much time in their backyards teaching me the work to the entire production. Then the day of the Sunnyvale show, I learned some of the drill and plugged in some work. That night I performed the first 2 statements of the show and sat out the rest.

Just when I thought this is it for me. I stood on the field at retreat thinking about how great of feeling it was to just be there, competing once again. I couldn't wait until the 2004 open house. What's happening with me. These people welcomed me with open arms and I fit in beautifully. Why ruin a good thing.

I weighed the pros and cons of marching another year. The pros sure outweighed the cons here. There is some sort of a cult-ish feeling within the drum corps community. We are one of a kind.

2004 was a fun year. In the beginning there were so many people looking to fill only a few open spots. I wasn't worried that I wouldn't get a spot to march. Not trying to be egotistical or anything. I just figured that people will weed themselves out as they see things here aren't as easy as they might have thought.

The year flew by..... Somewhere in the months of May through July 04, Chris and I got reacquainted.... slowly, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We worked out and got ourselves free from unhappiness at our then-home and made a new home for us. It helps that he is excellent with Reese. They are quite the same boys actually.

At DCA 2004 I was still contemplating whether or not I was going to return in 2005. Only because I felt that Reese needed me more now than ever.

Chris needed me on the field with him and Reese has many loving family members that are more than willing to take care of him when we're at rehearsals.

Christmas time 2004 Chris asked me to marry him when just about a month prior at our private Thanksgiving dinner at home, we discussed the possibilities of another child. We marched 2005 together while a wedding is being planned and Reese getting ready to begin his first year of public school. I'm not really sure how we pulled it off, but we got hitched and pregnant at the same time!!

Now that the Renegades have begun their 2006 season, and I'm not a part of it.... I am feeling a little abandoned.

Chris and I have begun the new chapter as husband and wife. That is one reason I will look back at only the things that made me happy. Being on the field and hearing "From San Francisco....THE RENEGADES!!"

Brain to mouth complex.....

Ok... or lack there of...

Here's one of my biggest pet peeves ever....

When I'm eating something, don't make a comment about it. I am eating it because I like it. There's someone (who shall remain nameless) who I spend about 8 hours a day with in this office who constantly have to make comments about everything. If there's a day I can work with this person without hearing her complain, I'd be a much happier person. Seriously.

So I sit here eating my lunch.....I hear this...

"Ew what is that smell?"

It's my food you fucking inconsiderate bitch.

What are you eating? she asks me. I'm eating Thai food. You didn't have to come in here and smell it. If you stayed in your hole back there, you wouldn't smell it and I wouldn't have to hear your comment. It's not like I'm eating something completely disgusting, like fried fish or something. In fact, I think Thai cuisine smells pretty good.

I think I'm just annoyed by her in general.

If you don't have something nice to say at least once or twice a day, don't say anything. I don't want to hear it. If you're going to complain about something every day.... go see a therapist. You're so fucking unhappy about life, don't take it out here. no one wants to hear you!

::end rant::

Walking around in dreamland

For those of us who have kids...

Isn't it scary to see your kids sleep walk? Or sleep with their eyes open?

It's creepy...

17 weeks

Well I'm starting to feel the baby move around in there. Especially at night when I'm trying to sleep. This same thing happened with Reese too. It's fun regardless of how uncomfortable it will be in just a few months. :-)

Today I went to a very special tea party for Suzanne. It's also her baby shower. Baby Gianna got so many cool things from her aunts and grandmas. Her friends did such a great job putting it together. Little shaped tea sandwiches, delicious herb teas, fun favors and games. We even decorated the onesies. We had a great time! I got to hold Liliana, Debra's 3 month old daughter for about an hour while she peacefully slept in my arms....

Going back in time a couple of weeks....

For Christmas Reese got so many new toys we're having to put a lot of things in the circular file. You know..... some stuff he doesn't even look at anymore.

I got some really cool gifts this year too...
A generous check to both Chris and I from his mom
Another generous check to both of us from my mom
Chris got me the latest version of digital photo printer
Lots of scrapbooking supplies
Maternity clothes!
Lots of cool stuff in my stocking

Chris had the best Christmas so far...
His baby on the way tops the list
A 6" chef's knife
New pots and pans (well those are more for us :-))
iPod shuffle
XM Satellite Radio
A chocolate fondue fountain!! Hello!!!
and a ton of clothes

We made out this year. Next year... the baby will get everything he/she never knew he/she wanted ... and a few more things. lol.

16 Weeks

Today is a holiday for most people. But Chris went in to work for a couple of hours anyway. What a dedicated guy he is. I love him to death. :-)

This week we're about 16 weeks pregnant. I'm not quite that big yet but I can see that I'm slightly bigger in the belly. I can't suck in my stomach anymore. lol. At times I can feel the baby move. Like when I sit up and lean forward for a long period of time. The baby moves around like as if it doesn't like me sitting like that. Pretty soon I will feel 'butterflies' once the baby gets a little bigger and more mobile.

In a couple of weeks we go back to the doctor's for the triple screen test. It's a blood test that reveals whether or not your baby has genetic diceases and/or downs syndrome. If the test comes out positive for any of the above, then we go back to do an Amniosyntesis. (I have no idea if I spelled that right or not) That's when the poke a big needle in my belly to take amniotic fluid for further testing and start treatment. Of course, we hope and pray that there's nothing wrong with the baby.

In other news....

It's been raining like crazy!! Ugh. And I've been sick with a head cold. No aches and pains or anything. Just sinus issues. some of it I think is from the fact that when you're pregnant, you get more congested.

Well happy 2006!!

6 months 2 weeks until our little one joins us! Reese has been really excited. He kisses my belly... 'the baby' every day. One time he whispered "Come out!" I want Chris and Reese to talk to the babyas often as they can while I'm pregnant. That way the baby will recognize their voices when it's born.

Shopping madness

is coming to an end finally.

Today I go shopping for the last time this Christmas season. I'm only stopping at Toys r Us and Valley Fair. While I'm there, I will get all my stuff wrapped at the SCV Winterguard wrapping booth so that when I get home, no one will know what I got!

HA HA HA I'm a genius.

Today at Subway

I learned today at Subway that the people making the sandwiches are not all the bright. Sorry those of you reading this that are currently employed at Subway. I'm just talking about the one here by my work. It just openned like last month, so I'm pretty sure that the workers are new and still getting used to the menu, etc.

The are quick, to give them some credit.

Today I can't have an extended lunch due to lack of staff at the office. Which is good in a way, it's really quiet in here for me.

Anywho....

I walked into Subway... don't really know what I want just yet. Haven't been there in forever. Finally I decided that the Chicken Parmasan looks good. It's hot, it's chicken, that should be safe.

The girl is already irritated at me because I didn't have my order ready when I walked in. I looked behind me, there's no one else in line, I'm not holding anyone up chick, Chill out.

I tell her what I want. A 6 inch chicken parmasan on wheat. She pulls out the bread and cuts it in half then looks at me and said "Do you want cheese?". Uh... doesn't the chicken parmasan COME WITH CHEESE? She said 'oh yeah'. She slaps the sauce on the bread totally messy.... ok I'll need quite a few napkins for this.

"Do you want Mayo and Mustard?"

WHAT????

Look at the picture! Do you not know what the chicken parmasan sandwich is??

I tell her that it comes with chicken, sauce, cheese, and a little grated parmasan on top.

"Do you want veggies with it?"

No, it's ok.

At this point I give up. Why do they offer certain kinds of sandwiches if they are going to ask if you want all the extra stuff? They should just offer veriety of meats, cheeses, and breads. Then you can have them slap it together and make your own sandwiches. That's essentially what you're doing there anyway. Starbucks has turned into that now. They give you the basic formula of coffees, mocha, latte, etc. Then you add and/or subtract what you want in your drink. Add shot, half caff, add syrup, no whip, etc. Makes it so much easier for everyone!

Ok, I ate my sandwich and it wasn't even that good. I just had to eat something or this baby will not be happy.

Reese Quote of the Day

We're randomly sitting around and I thought I'd ask him some random questions....


Reese, where's your right leg?

He pretends he doesn't know and shrugs his shoulders....

Reese, where's your left leg? Again he pretends he doesn't know.

Reese: Mom, these are called 'one leg' and 'other leg'
me: What?
Reese: That's what you say when you put pants on me. 'gimme one leg, ok now gimme other leg'

Reese Quote of the Day

It's 7am and I'm waking him up.

Reese looks out the window and says....

"Mom, it's still yesterday!"

14 weeks

I got a haircut yesterday! Finally cut it off so I don't lose so much of it anymore. Chris doesn't like the fact that I cut my hair, but it had to be done. Much easier for me.

I don't think I'm supposed to be this big yet at 14 weeks. That's only 3 and a half months. Oh well... Chris feeds me well. That and the doc hasn't told me that I should stop eating sugar like when I was pregnant with Reese. Of course we haven't heard the little one's heart beat yet either. We will this weeek though. Wednesday is our next appointment. Wonder if they will take more blood from me.

For Christmas I asked Santa for bigger pants. Things just aren't fitting me the same anymore. I'm really disappointed, at the same time, I should really get over it. I'm pregnant, I should feel good about that. Although at this stage I feel like the baby is just a little bean and I'm gaining fat. My weight hasn't really sky-rocketed yet. I was 140lbs to start, now I'm 145lbs.

I eat constantly. That probably won't help. lol.

So far I've done pretty good on getting all the presents for everyone. One more thing for Chris's mom and all of Reese's toys. Then, YIPPIE!! I am done shopping for the rest of the freakin' year!

13 Weeks

We need to start taking profile pictures of me. I'm not showing yet, but it won't be long before my belly pops out there.

Chris is doing really good adjusting to my needs. I say that as if I'm paralyzed and I can't move. I'm just saying, it's the holidays, things are a little more hectic now and I'm not feeling up to par. Like I have no energy and I get drained when I haven't even stepped out of the car sometimes. Example: fainting in the toy store.

I'm not really looking forward to going shopping this weekend, but I will have to grin and bare it. Things need be bought so everyone is happy. I did buy some things online for certain people. I got Kelly out of the way with all her kitchen gadgets and a few other things. I won't be able to take Reese with me when I shop for him. Otherwise Santa won't have any gifts under the tree. lol.

We have a nice tall christmas tree up now so Reese is excited. Santa is coming FOR SURE now! He will be a happy camper when he's spoiled with everything he will get this year. Somehow, I know he won't be disappointed.

I have a feeling the baby will get something too.

Chris is talking to my belly every day. He's so excited about this baby. New dads are so cute. Especially when I'm having his baby. :-)

The wedding party -From left to right
Veronica
Lisamomeesa
Heather
Suzanne
Kelly
Me
Chris
Brandon
Greg
Dave
Mike
JT

More Weddin' Pictures!

Oops.... The little one was a thumbnail that I accidentally uploaded.

Professional wedding pictures are here!!

We finally picked up our wedding pictures. These are incredible images. The 2 guys covered our wedding wonderfully. It's exactly what I wanted and they were totally worth all the money we paid them for. :-)

Ok, it took forever to load one picture on to this blog, I will do the other 12 pictures later.

Reese: Do I have to eat my broccoli?
me: No, you don't have to eat it, but you should, it's good for you.
Reese: Does it give me strong muscles and bones?
me: yes it does.
Reese: Well, I'm not gonna eat it today because I'm just gonna poop it out anyway.

Broccoli

Reese: Do I have to eat my broccoli?
me: No, you don't have to eat it, but you should, it's good for you.
Reese: Does it give me strong muscles and bones?
me: yes it does.
Reese: Well, I'm not gonna eat it today because I'm just gonna poop it out anyway.

Reese quote of the week

We had just told Reese that he's about to have a baby sister or brother, but it won't be until the summer time.

Reese: Mom, when are you going to poop out the baby?
me: Reesey I won't be 'pooping' out the baby....
Reese: Then is she going to come out of your mouth?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At kindergarten a couple of weeks ago Reese was learning the letter H. The teacher puts up random pictures and the kids have to identify all the words that starts with the letter H.

Well, there's a picture of a horn, more specifically a trumpet on the board.

Reese: That's a Soprano, Mrs. Roldan.
Mrs. Roldan: That's a horn, Reese.
Reese: No, my dad plays that, it's a Soprano. He has a trumpet too!
Mrs. Roldan: Yes that's a trumpet, but I don't know what a Soprano is.
Reese: That's a soprano, I get to play that when I go to Vanguard.
Mrs. Roland: Ok, Reese, if you say so.

Ick... it's Monday

That's it? 4 day weekend is over? Just like that?

Maybe if I enjoy the weekend a little less Monday wouldn't come so quickly.

Chris and I enjoyed our first Thanksgiving as married people together. He made most of the dinner (I made the garlic mash potatoes). I wasn't feeling so hot. It's funny how you spend all day making the dinner (especially the turkey) and it takes like 10 minutes to eat. Well now I have a lot of left overs for lunch at work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baby update:

Due date is June 16, 06. The 2 kids will be almost exactly 6 years apart. Reese will be a good big brother.

I'm doing much better at taking the prenatal vitamins and drinking more water. It helps that the vitamins the doc gave me is gel. It's hard to take those chalky, gritty horse pills. It's enough that I hate taking pills.

We went over to Chris's mom's as soon as we were done at the doctor's. She just bought a new car so she was excited to show us her new car. We were excited to show her the ultrasound. Her first words were "I thought you guys were pregnant already!" So she knew somewhat that we might have been pregnant. I think she caught a clue when she made a comment to Chris in the garage and he said "I'm not worried". Might as well just tell her we're pregnant.

The due date in mid-June is perfect. Chris will be marching with the Renegades and that's before they start getting really busy with shows. That way he's not at rehearsals worried about his 8-9 months pregnant wife at home. Instead, he'll come home to his family.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well.... starting today, Reese gets out of Kindergarten at 1:25pm except Wednesdays. What a pain.... I don't know why they just can't do that everyday. It's easy for the stay-at-home moms who has nothing better to do.

He'll be eating lunch at school in the cafeteria with all the other kids. Chris gave the teacher $10 for the week's worth of lunches. I hope he does ok. We'll see when I go pick him up later.

Doctor doctor.....give me some news....

"... you need to drink more water" doctor Phan says as I hand him my container of urine sample.

"told you....." Says Chris.

I have been drinking a lot more water than I normally do lately. ok, just over the last couple of days I have been since I passed out on Sunday.

We also told Dr. Phan about me passing out in the toy store. He's worried that I might have other conditions we're not aware of. Being pregnant is part of the onset, but I shouldn't be easily passing out like that. He recommended that I go see my regular doctor to get an EKG. Just to make sure there's nothing else going on that will harm me or the baby. By this time, Chris is sitting there really worried.

Dr. Phan went through some regular first visit interview questions. Health backgrounds of both families, my last pregnancy with Reese, any history of abuse, and then over all physical exam. We did the regular yearly check up just to make sure everything is healthy down there and then a breast exam.

My boobs feel like they're twice as big now.... and I'm only 9 weeks pregnant. At the end of my pregnancy with Reese, I was a D cup. Imagine that.

..... and then he said the magic words Chris has been waiting to hear....

'Let's take a look on the monitor how big the baby is...'

We saw the baby.... it was moving around. Chris said that 'she' was pissed off because we were invading her house. The doc printed off a picture of the baby showing her head, eyes, arm, and body. He checked for all organs that are supposed to be there at that stage.

We saw the heart beating too....

Tiny little spot pulsing on the screen. Yey!!

Chris is smiling from ear to ear. He's so happy he's about to have a baby. He's going to be a dad from day 1. (Not exactly the same as being a dad from age 4)

We're done with our hour long first prenatal appointment. Tons of good thoughts are going through our heads. It's real now. IT'S REAL! We saw the baby. She was moving around in there saying 'Don't you love me???' Chris is feeling he should be more protective than ever. He has 3 of us to take care of now.... me, Reese, and baby.

Before we left, the doc gave me a few packages of prenatal vitamins that are easier to take. They're gel, so they go down real smooth for me. Thank god they make that. The griddy stuff was gagging me everytime. makes me not want to take them.

I go to give blood for more testing. They test for everything. As soon as the blood enters the vile.... the lady taking my blood says "you need to drink more water" My blood was really thick and really dark.

OK OK I GET IT.

My new goal in life is to drink 3-4 bottles of water a day.

More importantly...... There's a baby in my belly!!

Ok Ok we're pregnant!

There...... I said it.....

We're 8 weeks pregnant!

We found out probably about 4 weeks into the pregnancy. This is Chris's face when he saw 'pregnant' on the stick test. lol.

We are sooooo excited!!

Girl: Bailey Taylor Clavejo
Boy: Riley Christopher Clavejo

I have been feeling the effects of being pregnant. Chris got me some prenatal vitamins to keep us healthy. I hate them, they are absolute horse pills. I am so tired everyday with this baby taking all of my energy. Everything I eat is going straight to the baby. I'm hungry all the time. Although Chris is pretty good about reminding me to bring snacks, most of the time I pack a lunch anyway.

When I was pregnant with Reese. I was told that I was anemic. Ok, so I still am. Iron deficiency. I take the vitamins so you'd think that would be enough. I also don't drink enough water.... so the combo? Passing out in a toy store. Yep... That's what happened yesterday.

We haven't told our moms yet. We're going to our first prenatal appointment this Wednesday. Hopefully we'll get an ultrasound picture and I will make a copy and put it in a card for our moms. I really hope that they get excited and happy for us.

The boy-wonder

Reese: Mom, turn on your arrows so it tells you which way to go!

I wish it was like that so I don't get lost all the time!

Iron Chef

I think Iron Chef is the best reality competition show on TV right now. It's probably because it involves cooking and speed. Sometimes you can't put those two together and have things turn out the way you want them to be.

I love cooking. It's been brought on by my husband Chris. I was never interested in being in the kitchen before. And now things have a different taste in life for me. I love being in there helping him make our meals and creating food together. We look up new recipes and make what we think will taste good. It helps that we both love the same types of food too.

This has influence our little man Reese. He loves being in the kitchen with us helping mix, stir, knead, or microwave things for us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This weekend was really relaxing for us too. We haven't had one of those in a while. We went and looked at 2 condos for rent. Just something better, not necessarily bigger, just more quiet than this little mexico we live in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations to our good friend Jeff Pearson as he becomes the next Corps Director of the Santa Clara Vanguard Drum and Bugle Corps. Our stomping ground is beginning to look up in the world of competitive drum corps again.

We get together with Jeff and Kathy often because Reese and Derek love each other like they are brothers. This will be a good move for him and a great decision made by the SCV Board. Maybe they will bring home a championship ring again.... and again.... and again. lol.

Chris and I ran into Jeff and Kathy at the Logan fiend show this past Saturday. He mentioned that he'd like me to head up the SCV Alumni Corps recruiting efforts. Of course I'm not going to turn that offer down. I'd love to work with the corps at that level. Especially now with Jeff running it.

Before the wedding stories.....

Reese quote of the month...

Reese walked into the bathroom to pee while Chris was taking a shower. He opened the shower door just to say hi to Chris and discovered something he's never seen before. He comes running to me in the living room...

Reese: Mom! Dad has hair on his pee pee!!
me: Yeah? He's a guy, he has hair in places you don't have hair yet.
Reese: Really?
me: Do you have hair on your pee pee?
::Reese pulls his pants down and looked::
Reese: No mom, mine is just brown.

I'm still laughing at that one.

10 days and a lifetime to go....

Today marks our 10 days til the wedding mark.

We're sitting at home every night picking our noses thinking of things we might have forgotten to do. So far so good.

Talked to Robert our cake maker today. He just bought a bunch of supplies to make the cake with. Yey!!! It's going to be so yummy. The whole thing will be chocolate with mousse filling on the bottom layer and raspberry in the middle and I think custard on the top. YUM!

Reese is getting excited about the wedding too. He keeps putting on my fake vail just to be cute. Maybe he knows he's about to miss a whole week of school and get to play on the beach. lol.

Night of beading

Tonight I sit and watch Survivor and bead a few strings of green beads for the bridesmaids flowers. Reese is sitting next to me doing his best at helping me bead a small string for himself. I gave him a short one to start and he seems very interested and will not give up. I love this guy. He keeps telling me that he can't wait to show dad when he gets home.

It seems that all he wants in his life is for us to be proud of him.

Today his teacher tells me that he'd rather sit and do nothing than do his school work. She also said that he's not ready for extended day kindergarten. What the heck. He has been going to school full time for a year and a half. This is ridiculous. He is being so stubborn that his teacher thinks he's not ready for school. We lectured him so that he understands that he has to do school work and homework not one or the other. I think he feels badly enough now that he won't just sit out in class anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My new pet peeve.....

People who don't RSVP.

What is that??? When you are invited to something. You tell the host whether you can make it or not. You have a choice. Especially something as important as someone's wedding. There is a damn postcard included in the invitation already stamped. All you have to do is fill in whether you're coming and your name. And bam!!!! You are done! Then you go drop it in the mail box somewhere. If you're not coming, great. If you are, well duh! We kinda need to know that there should be food and a seat for you at the ceremony and reception.

Why do people not think about that? Is it so freakin' hard to reply?

There is a due date on the invitation. October 1. It is now 6 days past and I still have people who have not replied. The invitations went out September 1.

I don't get it.

I am frustreated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile..... I've got a couple of projects going on on the coffee table here. Not to mention a crazy girl from Oakland is wanting me to write out all her invitations and envelopes. Insane. But cool. I would love to do that. But it will take a long long time to complete. Gotta build up some stamina between now and then. I will meet with her after our wedding when I have more time.

Time to give little man his bath.

Reese Quote of the Day

Reese: "I don't feel good mom"
Me: "What's wrong baby?"
Reese: "I have a spider in my brain.... it's gonna break in half.... but it will go away"
Me: "Do you need medicine?"
Reese: "Yeah, will you take my temperature? I think I have a fever"
Me: "Ok buddy"

The logic of a 5 year old.

Reese: "Mom, why is it 'fifteen' and not 'fiveteen'?

I really have no idea why it's fifteen and fifty and not fiveteen and fivety. And why is it that Forty is spelled without the 'u' and the word Four has a 'u' in it? I swear English has to be the most difficult language to learn. There are so many things that are indiscribable... makes no sense what so ever.

Why is 'Read' spelled the same way as its past tense, 'Read' - pronounced 'red'?

How do I explain to him that he can't say "FINE!" in an angry, frustrating tone to me, but the word 'fine' is ok to use?

Although the highlight of my week so far has been when he told me when he saw Suzanne's picture on the coffee table.... "Mom, Suzanne ate too much, that's why she has a baby in her belly"