170lbs.

I have a complex about my weight.

A quick synopsis:

2 years ago I weighed 130lbs.
It's the weight I've been at since high school. The distribution of the weight between muscle and fat have moved with time, but it's always been 130. I ate whatever I wanted when I wanted. My matabolism was high and I was constantly active. Dance, drum corps, stress, whatnot.

1 year ago I weighed 145lbs.
Up until I got pregnant with Bailey I weighed that much. Which is fine, I'm 30 years old, I eat whatever Chris cooks, snacked constantly. I keep thinking it's the compensation for my height too. We were so happy to be pregnant. I started eating for 2. And didn't care!

That's my first mistake. I lost weight right away when I had Reese that I kept thinking the same will happen this time. I hardly ate anything when I was pregnant with him it was a miracle that he was born healthy. And he's still is.

June 19th... the day Bailey was born. I weighed in at 192lbs before the delivery. I almost tipped 200lbs. That's really not good.

Last Monday I went in for my 6 week check up with my OB. I weighed 170lbs.

I could have sworn that I lost more than that. Ever since that day, I've had a complex about that number. I have to fit back into my size medium clothes. I refuse to buy a whole new wardrobe for work. I have 6 weeks to get back to somewhat normal.

Chris and I are going on a low carb diet together. Hopefully we can stick to it. We're not doing very good so far but we are adjusting what we take in our body. With Bailey being around, she takes up most of my time and I forget to eat. I get to snack a lot.

The other thing I have to keep in mind is that I'm 31. It's going to be a lot harder to lose the weight than when I was 25.

That and my mother happily pointed out this past weekend that I'm still fat and she wants her beautiful daughter back. Thanks mother. Let me just go shoot myself.

Here starts a journey I never thought I'd have to face.