Pork Chop

Our little pork chop has her own personality now. Chris calls it 'attitude'. She's starting to smile and talk a little. It's the most adorable thing to hear her coo. She's the love of Chris's life and sunshine in mine.

1 month 1 week

Our little Bailey is 5 weeks old today!

10 Random reasons I love my husband

10 - He looks really good in glasses

9 - He's a natural at being a daddy

8 - He's my definition of 'unconditional love'

7 - He lets me be me

6 - He puts his family first

5 - He's a gentleman

4 - He doesn't mind watching chick flicks and lets me cry all over his shirt

3 - He never ever gets angry... a little irritated maybe, but never angry

2 - He spoils me

1 - I get to be married to him :-)

Happy Birthday Bailey Bean!!

Our little precious girl is ONE MONTH old today!!

Last night she slept through the night. Only because she stayed awake all day! She slept from 10pm to 6am. It actually startled me! It was daylight by the time she started making her noises. She didn't even cry!

She drank her bottle and then some. What a little piggy!

Reese loves to hold her and kiss her and smother her. He helps me with every day chores especially when it comes to her. Bath time, feeding time, etc.

We try to go to a park every day. Switching off to different locations so Reese doesn't get bored. And so I don't get bored either!

Hiatus from Renegades

Well not really on hiatus from Renegades since Chris is still marching and I'm still around as a spectator.

It feels really weird watching from the stands.

This past Saturday I went to Sunnyvale to see my first drum corps show this year. I watched them warm up... saw a bunch of friends and showed up baby girl. Well, her dad did more of that than me I think. He's so proud of her.

When they got into uniform and walked towards the field to line up. I felt this emptiness like I'm suppposed to be there in line with them walking on. Then I went inside and took a seat holding Bailey watching the show. It was weird to be sitting in the audience watching these guys this year. I should be on the field performing. I can't do that anymore.

At least not for a long time.

I watched Chris march the show as intensely as ever. He had the same look in his eyes as in 04 when we got together. I want to be there with him always.... but I can't.

These are the moments I give up when we decide to have a baby I guess. It was a sad time for me....

Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow.

Life Lessons on Raising a Girl... for Daddy

Excerpts taken from a coffee table book by Harry Harrison

*** Be forwarned.... not for the sensitive and tender hearted***

Raising a girl takes two parents:

A mom to show her how to be a woman.

A dad to show her how to be independent.

A dad's job is to make his daughter courageous. Fearless. To ake her feel beautiful. To give her a sense of adventure. To make her feel secure and confident.

The relationship between a dad and a daughter is very simple: She will love her father and trust him completely, forever.

Because he's her first love. Her first hero. The first man in her life.

The wonder years....

• Accept the fact that she will melt your heart anytime she chooses.
• Take part in her life now. Don't wait until she's 15 to try and develop a relationship.
• When you get home from work, hold her as much as possible.This is for your benefit as much as hers.
• Sing to her while you're rocking her. She'll love hearing your voice as much as you love the bonding.
• Tell her from day one that she can accomplish anything.
• Let her sleep on your chest when she's a baby. This is when the world begins to make sense.
• Memorize her face. Her eyes. Her hands. She'll be memorizing everything about you.
• Give her baths. Do not leave this to mom alone. It's pure magic.
• Her mom will show her how to bake cookies. You show her how to dunk them in milk.
• Know that while you will never understand her thing for dolls, you will buy more of them than you can possibly imagine.
• Emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy girls are raised in a loving atmosphere. Do all you can to creat a tranquil home.
• Be prepared to watch a Disney movie with her some 200 times.
• Tickle her, play with her, give her piggyback rides. She's not breakable.
• Never lost the wonder of watching her and her mother together.
• Relish the moment when she toddles up and for no reason at all throws her arms around your neck. Resist the urge to buy her the world.
• Trust her mom to understand the mystery of little girls. You have yet to figure out the mystery of big ones.
• Never, ever, make fun of her.
• Bear in mind that from the very beginning your personality will shape her.
• Realize that as you shape her, she will shape you.
• Always remember, she can do anything a boy can do.
• Brush her hair occationally. You'll be amazed how long she'll want you to do this.
• Never forget that supportive fathers produce daughters with high self-esteem.
• Read to her often. Very soon, she'll be reading to you.
• Give her a picture of you to put in her first purse. If you're lucky, she'll always carry a photo of you.
• Buy her a jungle gym. However, if she falls off that jungle gym, disregard those thoughts about killing yourself.
• Encourage her to play with boys.
• Play catch with her. Even if the ball is pink and covered with glitter.
• Dance with her always. She'll never be too young. Or old.
• Give her a Valentine's Day card... every year.
• Ask about her day, every day. Share her wonder.
• Keep her secrets. This way she will begin to trust men.
• Write this down. Girls cry. A lot.
• Show her how to play poker.
• Teach her not to be afraid of boys, but to be ready to challenge them.

_______________________________________

More another day...... this is making me cry!

Entertaining myself....and the kids....

I'm in my 6th week of being home on maternity leave. 4th week of actual FMLA. The first 2 didn't count because those were Disability leave... you get 12 weeks after baby's born off of work - paid.

The first couple weeks off were great. I got a lot done at home. Bailey's room came together. Reese was at school still.

...and then I ran out of things to do.... Reese is out of school and he can't sit still for nothing.

Baby came and all we can focus on is baby Bailey. I had a hard time trying to recover the first couple of weeks. My body didn't bounce back like it did when I had Reese. I swelled up like a bolloon from water and being in bed for days. I'm still fat.

There's another issue right there. With Reese I gained 21lbs. and lost it all the week after he came out. But I had Postpartum Depression... I'd rather be fat than go through the depression again. That SUCKED!

This time... I'm not losing the weight quite the same rate, but I'm not going through the depression. So.... Gold's Gym here I come!!

I want my fabulous abs back
I want my butt to fit into my size 8's again
I want to keep these B cup boobs!

I want to fit into my clothes again... have I already mentioned that? That's my only complex right now. No way am I going to buy a whole new wardrobe just because I'm 2 pant sizes bigger right now.

That and my mother happily pointed out that I got fat and I must lose weight. Not that I want to do what she says... but I'll never hear the end of it if I don't do something about it.

Meanwhile.... Bailey gained 2lbs. in 4 weeks!

Random Facts about Bailey

• She's got her daddy wrapped around her little finger the minute she was born.
• She's eating 4oz of formula every few hours. (I know babies who are 6 months old eating that much... she's only 4 weeks old)
• She quivers her bottom lip when she cries really hard. No tears though.
• Her hair is falling off her head everyday.
• I can't wait til I can give her pigtails.
• She has more clothes than Chris and I.
• She won't repeat an outfit once she can fit into them.
• She has a major cow before she falls asleep. Like she's always fighting it.
• She sleeps 4-5 hour stretches at night. Thank god!
• She's more comfortable in her daddy's arms than anyone.
• She recognizes my voice, Reese's, and her daddy's.
• She HATES the carseat.
• She will not sleep on her back.
• She doesn't like being naked and/or taking a bath.
• Her nicknames are Bailey-Bean and Bubba-girl and Princess.
• She got my hands and feet and her daddy's bowed legs, eyebrows, long torso, and attitude.
• She is spoiled rotten.

Hospital roommate from hell

Since I have a few minutes before Bailey wakes up from her nap. I have to share my experience of recovering with a roommate in the hospital. Granted, I was only there for one night and half a day, I really wanted to strangle my roommate.

First of all, I was put in that room first because Bailey came early in the AM and my roommate came in at around 3pm. Young, really young (19-21 year old at most) Vietnamese girl with her "husband" and her entire family. With that, I mean her mom, dad, his mom, his dad, 2 sets of grandparents, aunt, uncle, and a couple of friends.

Now, if you are of Asian decent, which I am half of, you'd know that the Viets live with their entire 3-4 generations of families in one house. I do respect the fact that they value family, but there are limits.

The room was small first of all, and I'm shoved on the inside bed since I was there first. Which is fine because I have a curtain and I have first dibs on the TV channels. The SHARED restroom, however, was on her side and her area was covered with bodies of her families and friends visiting until 9pm. They are talking over each other as if they had no idea that there's another patient in the next bed recovering also. The elderly couple (her grandparents I assume) kept looking, more like gawking at me... even when I was trying to nurse Bailey. I said to them a few times "What are you looking at?" and they just smiled at me.

HOW ANNOYING!!

I had friends and family who came by to visit and it was impossible to get into the room. I finally had to use the restroom later in the day so I trekked over there with my IV pole and help from Chris. They wouldn't move! They could barely hear me say "Excuse me!" since they were all talking at once. Finally they moved but not quite out of the way. Their elderly were sitting right in front of the restroom doors and they had to be helped up and walk. She (the girl who had the baby) gave me this look as if I was inconveniencing them. I said "There is another patient in this room too". They were quiet for a while.

I get into the restroom and she had left a bloody mess in there. I'm not going to bother explaining what the mess was, I think you all know what I'm talking about. I called the nurse to come clean it up and she thought I made the mess. UGH!!! I go in there to use the restroom finally and ALL MY MEDICAL SUPPLIES WERE GONE!! She took them! My pads, my tusk pads, my antiseptic spray, and my cleansing bottle. I couldn't go pee without having that stuff!! I had to walk back out, interrupted her family bonding moment and asked her if she TOOK MY STUFF!! She said she thought it was all there for her. NO WACKO, your nurse will bring your shit! I was here first, this shit was for ME!! I called the nurse and told her I needed new supplies. I FINALLY got to use the restroom after a half hour ordeal which I shouldn't have had to deal with in the first place.

Visiting hours were over at 8pm. My friends and family (including Chris) left by 8pm. There was no room for him to sleep there and this would have been his last 'good' night of rest anyway, he went home. My roommate's friends and family would NOT leave! I asked my nurse when visiting hours were over and she told me she would get rid of them for me. They all finally left by 9 except her 'husband'. (she referred to him as both boyfriend and husband).

I nursed Bailey and we were both going down for some sleep by 11pm. Then I hear SLUUUUURP from the other side of the curtain. They were eating 2 big ass bowls of Pho. Vietnamese noodle soup. I get out of bed and peaked in from my curtain and asked them "DO YOU MIND?" she said "Oh, sorry". They must think I'm the biggest bitch on the block by now.

Her nurse wheeled in her baby around the same time. Now there's comotion since now she has to be prompted by an English speaking nurse for a half hour about the baby. This girl has no maternal insticts what so ever. Even if this is your first kid and you're totally clueless, you would read up and be less clueless than this girl. Seriously, she had NO IDEA what to do.

Her 'husband' finally left at around 1am. Lights are off on my side and her baby is quiet as well as mine. Her nurse comes in and finds her nursing the baby. "I thought you didn't want to breastfeed, how long have you been at it?" she replied "Oh about a half hour". She said that she thought she would try it. Well, the baby had had formula in the nursery (she was told this, but apparently she wasn't paying attention) so now she's overfeeding her baby. The baby throws up. She freaks out.

All throughout the night it was lights on lights off lights on lights off...... NURSE!!! NURSE!!!

Am I still even in the room? Is Bailey still in here? Does she even take us into consideration?

She asked the nurse "Can I have my own room? I don't like being with a stranger." YOU THINK I DO???? I should get my own room I was there first!!

Around 4am the nurse comes in and she's still up for some reason. The nurse asks her "When was the last time you changed her diaper?" .... "I'm changing her diaper?" she asks. The nurse is telling her all the basics that she needs to do and then told her that she's bringing her a Vietnamese version of baby care instructions. Thank GOD! You would think that with all her family around her she would know what to do!

About an hour later her baby throws up again. NURSE!!!! she called for help. The nurse comes in and apparently she's been nursing the baby for an hour and also giving her formula. I feel so bad for this baby already.

Her baby is in her hospital crib right up against my curtain which is right up against my bed. I can hear every breath of both my baby and hers through the rest of the night. Her baby would cry and I would wake up thinking it's Bailey. 9 out of 10 times it's her baby. Except that when her baby cried she would SHAKE THE CRIB!! I called for a nurse after the 3rd time she did that and told her. She stopped shaking the crib but started yelling WHOA WHOA WHOA for the baby to stop crying.

She would feed her baby while the baby is sleeping but pay no attention while she's crying. Hello!! McFly!! when baby cries, that usually means she's HUNGRY or she needs to be changed, not yelled at or shaken!

She fell asleep with baby at her breast. I really didn't want to witness her suffocating her baby while I'm the only one in the room with her.

The next day at 7am, her family returned. All the noise and chaos started all over again just when I was able to get an hour of sleep. The nurse asked if they can keep it down for me and at least 4 people looked over at my side of the curtain. WHAT??? Why do you need to look?? At 9am when visiting hours began, Chris got there. My doctor already signed my discharge papers at that point so we were just waiting for Bailey to be discharged. It took until 2pm, but we finally could pack up and go home.

They wheeled the wheelchair in for me and Bailey to leave and again, they wouldn't move. They are going to make my hospital stay miserable to the last freakin' minute.

Now that we're home and it's very peaceful here I pray to any god that that baby will be ok.

Ok, I'm done with my story!

Bailey is here!

Our Bailey is here!!

Wow! It's been a while since I've written anything in here. Well, it seems like we have begun a new life now that the little one has arrived.

Let's see... Where do I even begin??

Let's go back to the weeks approaching the delivery.

I thought I'd be pregnant forever! Bailey was 3 days overdue by the time I felt any significant pain. I stopped working on June 2 ( my last day was June 2) and stayed home thinking that she will come early like her brother did. I ended up sitting at home feeling really big and not able to do much. Reese was out of school for the summer and I couldn't really take him anywhere or do much with him.

On her due date of June 16, Reese and I went to a park to just play and hang out. I thought my water had broken because I felt some extra wetness 'down there'. I waited til the afternoon to go to the hospital thinking it's not really a big deal. The nurse told me that my water hasn't broken yet and it was in fact my bladder leaking because Bailey was pushing down with her head.

They called my doctor to come check me out. He determined that I needed some gentle encouragement. He stripped my cervix to help the contractions come a little quicker. That was Friday afternoon. I went through the entire weekend with small contractions about 1o-15 minutes apart. Nothing too significant.

Monday morning 3am I couldn't sleep too comfortably anymore. The pain was getting more intense by the minute. I moved into the baby's room where the recliner is with some blankets and a clock to time the contractions. The pain got unbarable by 6am. I woke up Chris and Reese and we headed out to the hospital. I swear I was going to explode in the car!

We get to the hospital and had to go through the emergency entrance because it's after hours. The clerk checking me in put me in a wheelchair and began asking all the general questions. Chris and Reese had to wait in another area since there wasn't enough room for them to sit with me. I'm keeled over in pain every few minutes and the dude asks me "Are you here with abdominal pain?"..... urrr.... "I'm in fucking labor!" I do believe those words came out of my mouth.

7:30-ish we finally get up stairs to Labor and Delivery. Kelly is already there waiting for Reese. (she didnt have to check in like I did) I get settled in with the nurse's help. My one absolutely WONDERFUL nurse who was there with us the ENTIRE time. The stupid monitor thingy wasn't detecting my contractions at all. I kept watching it when I'd get one... nope... nothing on there. I told the nurse that I'm having them every 3-4 minutes but it's not registering, she said she can see that I'm in labor and not to worry about the machine. She checks me, I'm at 4cm now.... she gives me pain meds. Woooo eeeeeeeee..... I'm high as a kite! The pains are still there but they are now more managable.

Note to self: This would have been a good time to ask for the Epideral.

The doctor has been called, he's on his way now. It's about 8:15. The nurse checked me again... I'm at 6cm. Holy crap that was fast. I'm now fully effaced, the baby's head is right there. She gives me more pain meds.The doctor got there around 9:15am. We chatted it up a little and then he checks me out. I'm at 9cm and baby's pushing her way out now. NOW I asked for the Epideral. The doc said "Um, no, it's too late for that, the baby is going to come out now, you need to start pushing"WHAT???? NO!!! Chris said that the expression on my face was priceless when he said I couldn't have the Epideral. After about 5 series of pushing... screaming... clawing... sweating... shaking... Bailey arrived at 9:48am.

I thought I was going to die. I thought she would never come out. I pushed and pushed with all my might. One push before the last she came out side ways and got sucked back in because I couldn't bare down anymore. When she finally came out, the doc had to stop when her head was fully out and turn her around so he can suction her mouth out. She cried. Then I pushed the rest of her out.Then the pain was gone. Just like that. No tearing, no epesiodemy, no complications. They put her up to me to start nursing right away. She's still got all the birth gunk on her (they cleaned her up just enough).

She's still gray in color, but she got that latch-on to the boob thing down from the minute she was born! They are still working on cleaning me and prepping me for recovery at this point. They came and took her to get her bath and weight, length, accessments and to give her shots. Now I go to a recovery room. Family and friends came to visit while Bailey was still in the nursery. They all make their trek to the nursery to see her while I'm laying in the bed still. There was a big gap of time between when they took her and when they brought her back. EVERYONE else got to see her!! Chris kept going back to the nursery to see her and give me updates on what they are doing with her. He's the only one who has access inside the nursery so he got some pictures of her getting her first bath, etc. I had no pain after her birth. My muscles are extremely sore and I'm swollen from the water weight. My belly still looks like I'm about 4 months prego. It's all good. I'll join a gym. I took one motrin every 8-10 hours for the soreness and now I don't feel anymore.

Tuesday my doctor came in to do a check up and he discharged me right away. The baby's doctor came in to check on her and she discharges her also. We've all been home since Tuesday and all our attention has been on the girl. Reese hasn't been forgotten, he's been a huge help. We got him a little pool for the backyard since it's been 100 degrees out. I feel kinda bad because he likes going to the park/playground and now we can't go anywhere for a while. We're going to get him involved in local activities though.

Chris has been taking pictuers non-stop! He's so proud. Bailey looks like both of us (I know newborns look like aliens). She's got Chris's long torso and short bowed legs and his nose.... my feet and hands and cheekbones. She's got lots of hair... everywhere! Shoulder hair and back hair too.