One more day

Tomorrow Chris leaves for Tempe, Arizona. He starts his new job on Monday at 7am. I am having a hard time with the situation. I don't want to be without him. There was never a time when him and I are apart for more than 3 days. Even then it was difficult.

I am definitely not looking forward to being a single mom for the next 4 months. Chris will be coming home to see us on random weekends, but that will be far in between for me.

The kids and I will be here until Reese is done with school and we celebrate his 8th birthday in July with his friends and our family here.

I have already told people here at work and it's a shock. People don't leave this company unless they move out of state or Pete fire them. The guys (and gals) here have been calling and wishing us well. Eventhough I'm still here til July. It will come soon enough though.

I think Pete has a plan as to what he wants to do with the structure of the office here once I leave. It's been quite unclear as to who does what or just too much overlap and lack of communication. I think we all know what needs to be done, we just need to do it. So far, Pete has the right idea, but he's really bad at expressing his thoughts and executing it to us. I understand what he's trying to do. Someone else is in denial though and will not cooporate.

Right now, I'm looking around the Chandler/Gilbert, AZ area for construction firms I can hopefully get into. Wish me luck! God knows I'll never find Anderson Pacific down there.

Take one for the road

It's official.

Chris got his offer letter to go to Jabil in Tempe, AZ. His first day on the job is March 24, 08.

What does that mean for me and the kids?

Chris will be there for the next month or so to 'try things out' and make sure it's the right choice for us before we all pack up and leave the state of California.

I'd never thought we'd say this... or at least me anyway. I can't imagine us ever buying a home here in the Silicon Valley or anywhere else in this area. I'm quite tired of people here being superficial and me trying to keep up with the trends. One of the things I remember from living in Minnesota for that one year was the fact that life was really simple there. The girls I worked with didn't care that their hair weren't highlighted every 8 weeks or had the best make-up brand on their faces or wear clothes with a certain brand name.

Hopefully that's what makes this move better. No more competing with the world and just live our lives and raise our kids.

The heat is one thing I'm not really looking forward to, but that's not a big concern. We can always install A/C.

I don't want to leave my job. Chris knows this. But I have to keep in mind that will be the only thing I am sacrificing because there would be no way I'd get my job back if we decide to come back here. (Ok there is a chance because Pete likes me).

I will miss my friends but it's not a long drive to see them or just a short flight. Chris said he'd make sure I come see my friends. He's the best hubby.

Anyway.....

More update later...

Directions

So it's true when they say sometimes life takes you in different directions, eventhough you aren't really prepared to make the move.

A few years back, say 1999. I met someone who I eventually had Reese with, who took me to the state of Minnesota to start a new life together. On a whim. There was where I gave birth to Reese and realized that I had to do some growing up really fast. Becoming an adult in a hurry in a place where I knew no one and nothing about life and not to mention doing it with someone who's extremely selfish... was extremely difficult to say the least.

There was where I went through more of an emotional rollercoaster than I could imagine. Until one day I realized that I couldn't do it on my own anymore and called for help to come home to CA.

This time, however, is much different.

I am married to the love of my life. We are financially stable. We have a beautiful family and a good solid relationship. I am (we are) adults now and able to rationalize and plan things accordingly.

With that said...

Chris's long time friend Greg recently made a career move to Tempe, Arizona for a six figure salary job that he's enjoying (so far). He's been calling Chris every day to convince him to make the move. See... here's the thing with Greg, he doesn't have a family of 4 to worry about. He doesn't own a home (neither do we, but still), his move is just for himself and his career. Chris is really excited about getting this offer from Greg's new company and making the move to AZ.

I am still not convinced.

Sorry baby if you're reading this. I'm not saying you're making anything up or getting excited for nothing.

Moving to another state still scares me. I have deep wounds from the last time I did this and I don't want that to happen again. This time I am more prepared mentally and making plans way ahead of time. Listing everything that needs to be done and preparing for how the kids might take it. I am telling friends and family (last time I just picked up and left). Of course, my mom and dad aren't around anymore, so that's not such a heavy weight on my mind in that aspect.

Right now, how it's going to work for us, if it's happening at all... is Chris would go out there first and start with the job. Feel it out and see if he's going to hang with it (not that he will have a choice, they are paying him a lot of money to coax him to come out). I will stay behind and let Reese finish second grade here and get things in order. That would leave about 3-4 months.

I've been actively looking for places to live and jobs for me. Cost of living is definitely cheaper down there, but it's also 150 degree heat in the summer. At the same time though, no one is going to pay me the salary that I make here. That's just reality. So... we might break even.

I will miss my friends, Renegades, the family I have left here.

BUT... we'll be closer to VEGAS!

lol

Video

For everyone who doesn't believe us when we say that she really does talk... a lot! Here's a little video we took tonight. Oh yeah... she also had her first major accident... rammed her head into the corner of her new bedframe... as you can see in the video.

Pictures

Ok so everyone has been asking for Christmas pictures. It just dawned on me when I uploaded our camera that all the opening of presents pictures were on other people's cameras. All we have are other random pictures. So ... here are some new pictures... well sort of. lol.

Bailey likes to jump in bed with Reese at night because it MUST be more fun when he goes to bed, Right??

Angel face... Most of the time. :-)

Piggy tails. Even if there's hardly any hair to make them with.

Look I can brush my own teef!

And feed myself some eggs!

Crazies

Ok so Chris and I have been dealing with some crazy family members lately. You're all probably wondering why I've made my blog private.

My mother and father in laws are going through a pretty bitter divorce. My father in law is a little crazy ... as in needing medication crazy. Most of you already knew that since you're all in Renegades with Chris and I and have known his father since the beginning of time. He's been on medication for Bi-Polar for years. I think Chris said since 1999. But who knows when his conditions really began.

Anyway... here's the Reader's Digest version of it:

Mom and dad hadn't gotten along for a while. Dad doesn't take his meds and goes off the deep end. He loses his job, can't get another job. We all know how hard it is to find a job when you're really looking hard and you're well in the head. Mom works hard trying to keep up with the mortgage and all their bills. Little sister is still young and living at home at the time so she's struggling to understand what's going on with her family.

Mom and dad separates. She got her own rental after they sold their house. Dad moved to Stockton with his mom and sisters. They are filipino, they all either live together or really close by.

Side note: That side of the family has been in denial of his condition this entire time. Now that he's there, they are convinced that God will help him find his way. Not doctors, or pills.

I really don't know what the Clavejo side of the family is doing to help him along. So far whatever they are doing isn't really taking affect on his condition. The rest of us are afraid to be around him, sad to say.

Fast forward to last week.

Mom tells me he's been lurking around her house leaving her messages and saying mean things to her. He tells her that he found her address through my blog. Well... the only thing I have said on here is that she moved to Manteca. I'm sure he did his research and found her somehow. He'a also been threatening me - yes me, personally - about some of the things I have said on my blog regarding his family. I will really have to look back and read what I wrote to see what I said to offend him.

He's also not happy that I (really it's more Chris than I) haven't brought Bailey to Stockton so the family can see her. To me, I feel that the road goes both ways. They can call us to say they want to come see us or that we need to go out there. I don't call them because I don't know any of them well. Chris? You ALL know he doesn't call anyone.

I undertand that Bailey is his first and so far only grand daughter. But we have asked him on many occasions to try to be well and get better and he hasn't. So... this is the price that he has to pay... Bailey will not get to see her grand father until things change.

It's really unfortunate, but it is what it is.

Thanks for reading. I will be putting some Christmas pictures up here soon. :-)

Guess who has pigtails???

Well it took us a good half hour of wrestling and struggle with Bailey to get 2 rubberbands in her hair. We took these pictures real quick because a minute later, she pulled them off.

Watching TV

View from the top

Thanksgiving 2007

First of all... I never liked this holiday. I didn't grow up with it, so when we moved here, it was thrown at me as a major American holiday. I didn't understand its history and they why's or what it was about until recently. Even then, I still don't appreciate it fully.

This year is a little different than any other year.

My dad has been gone for 2 years now and my mom moved to Florida. It just dawned on me that 2007, I'm officially parent-less for the holidays.

Well... I am a parent of 2 kids now. So it's my turn to make every holiday more special than the last one for them. My parents never really did that for me so I want our kids to appreciate everything they have.

Happy Thanksgiving!

One Bad Day

I was in a fender bender yesterday. I rear-ended an SUV and did some damage to my car. It's not drivable at all so we'll see if it's worth fixing. The SUV I hit had practically no damage.

We were on our way to pick up Reese from school (Bailey and I). From San Tomas turning right onto Williams where there's usually no cars. Well... this time there were cars backed up to the intersection of San Tomas and Williams. Bailey was screaming for me to take her cup so I turned to get it. And right then was when I hit the SUV.

No one got hurt. Bailey had a cut on her lip from the cup jamming into her face. My neck and back are sore, but I am ok. This was my first accident EVER... so I'm still shaken up by it.

Needless to say, other than not having a car, I won't be driving for a while.

The Daily Grind

I haven't really talked about life at work on here at all.

Things are good on my little corner of the office. I am thankful for everything I have there and how much people really do appreciate my contributions to the company. Recently it was time for our annual raises, of which I was very nicely compensated. There is still everyday drama. The drama that seems to only come from one person.

My Mondays aren't dreadful and Fridays usually come too soon.

So overall, things are pretty good. We'll see what this coming year brings me. More new things and bigger accomplishments probably.

Restaurant no-more

Yesterday Chris and I met a friend at the Red Robin in Rivermark. This came after we met with a potential new daycare provider for Bailey. Not that that made any difference but keep in mind that by the time we went to Red Robin, it was 7pm. It's late for our family to have dinner by now and it's approaching Bailey's bedtime.

We get our seat. The waiter brought us drinks. And right then, it was over.

Bailey wanted to play with my glass of coke, the ice in it was her ultimate goal. The straw was in the way so she threw it out of my reach. Not to mention she didn't like the booster seat they gave her. She took a piece of ice then realized it's been soaking in Coke. So now she wants to drink my drink. I took it away from her and she threw a tantrum.

Chris took her outside to distract her while I place our orders.

They came back inside when we got the chicken wings. Of course she wanted some of those. I gave her a celery stick dipped in ranch. mmmmmm... that kept her for a while, but damn, that coke is still sitting there calling her name.

She tried to climb on the table to get to the coke or anything else she's not supposed to touch. The second I'd say no, she screamed.

Finally, I ate my burger in 2.5 seconds flat... grabbed our stuff and took her outside. Chris stayed behind and ate his food with Reese.

In the meantime, Reese just sat there watching the tv show I downloaded on my iPod the entire time without a peep. I couldn't help to think that he was just like Bailey at one point in his life and it was over before I knew it. I have to keep that in mind and repeat to myself - Someday we will be able to eat in a restaurant again - over and over.

On a different note: PROJECT RUNWAY is back on! Season 4 baby!!!

Uh.... really??

This morning I strolled into my Starbucks just like I do everyday for my daily iced mocha.

I stand in line as the person infront of me place her order. The cashier told her what the total of her purchase was $4 something.

The girl hands her a $100 bill.

Starbucks girl: Um... Do you have something smaller than that?
Customer girl: No.
Starbucks girl: Well... I can't break that. We put all the $20's into a safe when we get them. We're not supposed to take anything bigger than a $20.
Customer girl: Get a key and open it
Starbucks girl: The person with the key isn't here right now. I can't break your $100. Do you have anything smaller?
Customer girl: No. Well, then my coffee is free, isn't it.

Starbucks girl just stood there, didn't know what the heck to do.

Customer girl put her $100 away, walked around to the end of the bar and grabbed her Latte and left.

Another customer behind me said outloud so she could hear "Well that's one way to get free coffee"

Happy Halloween!

Of course Jeff P took all the pictures last night when we went trick or treating with the kids.

The 2 boys, Reese and Derek would go up to 3 houses by the time she gets to 1. She would stand there and talk to people and ask for 'cookie'. Because everything that comes in individual packages are cookies to her. The boys would take off to the next house and she'd barely make it down the the door steps by the time they get to the second or third houses. It's ok she's only a toddler.. those guys are expert trick or treaters now.

At one point in time she had a sucker in her hand with the wrapper off. For about 10 minutes she was sucking on it and then it disappeared. Oh yeah, it's on the back of her head stuck to her hair.

I guess I have to expect that on Halloween night.

Will post pictures later. Here's one of her in her costume.

Get in, lock the door, and stay home for a while

Have you ever had one of those days that just continue to get worse as the day goes on??

Yesterday was that day for me and Chris. Thank goodness the kids were with his mom. Let me try to recall the day I would rather forget.

3:00am - At least I thought it was 3am. The house phone rings. Are you kidding?? Who the hell is calling us at these hours. I barely opened my eyes and figured if they really need to talk to us, they can call my cell phone which is sitting next to me.

4:30am - The house phone rings again. And again, I ignore it. Chris is sound asleep, he heard the phone but didn't bother to open his eyes. The baby twitched a little but it didn't wake her up.

8:00am - We finally get up and get going for the day by this time. I took a look at the caller ID and it says City of Santa Clara. Hmm... my first thought was that my office's alarm was going off last night and they tried to call everyone on the list until someone answers. One of the stray cats in the yard probably tripped the alarm.

8:30am - Chris goes off to rehersal at Independence and I was going to do a little laundry, jump in the shower and we'd go drop the kids off with his mom around lunch time in Pleasanton.

I put my 6 quarters in the washer and they are stuck. No laundry for us today.

9:30am - I'm talking to LLMM on the phone and the other line beeps. I looked at the ID and it said Bad Boys Bail Bonds.

.... ok WTF

I jumped off the phone with LLMM and jumped on the other line. A family member had been arrested and now needed to be bailed out. I called Chris, he's freaking out. No one else is answering their phones today apparently. Chris left rehearsal early to go take care of the situation and he eventually came home with no answers.

Side note: Did I mention it's our 2nd wedding anniversary weekend and we're pawning the kids to Chris' mom and going to enjoy a ridiculously expensive but worth every penny dinner at Benihana's tonight?

Several phone calls later things are still in shambles and we leave for Concord as planned for today. We get to Pleasanton where we meet Chris' mom half way (she lives in Manteca now and we're on our way to Concord). She pulls up as Chris and I are composing what to tell her about this particular family member who's still sitting in custody IF she doesn't already know.

..... and she had no idea. We made some phone calls to people Chris and I didn't have numbers to and finds out that things are now semi-ok and the family member is now free. This person has a lot of explaining to do. Especially to Chris' mom.

She takes the kids regardless of how she's feeling. She didn't have to but she wanted to. The need for pleasant distraction of having a 7 year old and a 16 month old in your care for a day.

Our phones stopped ringing and we're on our way to concord.

3:00pm - We get to DVC and the kids aren't there yet. Apparently there was some issue with the bus and one had to turn around to go back to the school. Chris gets out to go meet the other staff members and I take off to get some snacks and find one particular item that 4 stores in a 1 mile radius didn't have. But oh yeah... 7-11 directly across the street from DVC had it. DUH!

5:30pm - The Indy kids perform their show spectucularly as they should. Too bad it's not under lights. They get great reception from the audience regardless.

Immediately after they performed, Chris and I were leaving to go have our ridiculously delicious yet expensive anniversary dinner at Benihana. As we pulled out of the driveway of DVC parking lot, Chris noticed we came out the 'in' way. It was too late to back out since it would have been up hill and no one was coming or going anyway. We got about 30 feet from the entrance Chris uttered "ah shit". Sirens and lights behind us.

Is that for us?

Yes.

Damn.

We pulled over. I'm reading the program from the band show and had to think for a second if we had anything in the car that we should be worried about. Nope we don't.

Chris had all the documentation for the police officer. The only thing he did wrong was coming out of the 'In' way. Oh yeah... and his license is expired.

And for that... the nice police officer asked us to step out of the car and proceeded to search inside and patted him down. He didn't search me but he did ask me if I 'had' anything on me. What does that mean? Illegal substance? Packing a gun, knife, nail file? No I don't have anything. If I did, I wouldn't admit it since you're not going to search me.

Thank GOD we didn't have anything.

By the end of this stupid ordeal... the car gets towed to an impound yard and Chris will have to come back with a good license to get his car out. To concord.

7:00pm - We go back into the band show inside DVC on foot... found our friends... told them what happened and established who's taking us home. That was the easy part. But dammit we're hungry!

We stayed at the show watching a few bands with our friends eating snacks the kids were selling which made us even more hungry for food with substance.

9:00pm - We finally leave the show site with our good friend Harry and Kelly in her car not too far behind us. We made a unanimous decision to eat at Denny's. Benihana vs. Denny's. Well at least we avoided spending an arm and a leg and our first born. We leave the restaurant shortly after we finished our comparable fried food but cheap dinner.

10:30pm - We're still on the road just over the Sunol Grade on 680 and I'm in and out of sleep in the back seat. Suddenly I'm awaken with Harry and Chris discussing the fact that he's stepping on the gas and there's no response.

OMG.... wouldn't you know it. We are OUT OF GAS.

I called Kelly since she's about 5 minutes behind us and she had to pull over to laugh. She stopped to help us get some gas and we were on our way.

We finally get home around 11:00pm.

Get in, lock the door, don't come back out until it's safe to do so.

Old pictures

Yesterday I went to our mailbox to retrieve our mail that's been sitting in there for about a week. Lots of useless ads and some bills and a note card from my mom.

I think it's finally hit her that we're 3000 miles away and she's no longer 'home'. She misses her grandkids pretty badly and I don't blame her. She moved to Florida for good reasons. But she also sacrificed a lot of her past life.

In the envelope she sent there were a bunch of odd dimensioned photos of our us. Me, my mom, my dad, a few of me and my friends from Thailand when we lived there. One of my passport photos my dad took.

There were 2 photos in particular that caught my attention. They were polaroid pictures of me when I was about Bailey's age now. I did a double take and my jaw dropped to the floor. The image infront of me appeared exactly the same as my daughter's now. The thin hair, rolls in the neck, big eyes, unibrow, and that serious 'thinking' look on her face.

But she really does look like her dad to the T.

I will have to scan those photos somehow without damaging them and post on here.

My new hair

Well not new hair. Just new color job. I finally broke down and got highlights.

Her Eyes

Chris says this song reminds him of me and it makes him smile everytime he hears it.

Pat Monahan - HER EYES

She's not afraid; she just likes to use her night light
When she gets paid, true religion gets it all If they fit right.
She's a little bit manic, completely organic
Doesn't panic for the most part.

She's old enough to know, and young enough not to say no
To any chance that she gets for home plate tickets to see the Mets.
Like everybody, she's in over her head, Dreads Feds, Grateful Dead, and doesn't take meds.

She's a Gemini Capricorn Thinks all men are addicted to porn.
I don't agree with her half the time, But, damn I'm glad she's mine.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go When I go home.

She got the kinda strength that every man wishes he had.
She loved Michael Jackson up until he made Bad.
Tells me that she lives about a hundred lives, Scares me to death when she thinks and drives, Says cowboy hats make her look fat, and I'm so glad she's mine.

She doesn't know the word 'impossible'
Don't care where I've been and doesn't care where we're goin' to.
She takes me as I am, and that ain't easy.
She's beautiful. So beautiful.
And sometimes I think she's truly crazy. And I love it.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go When I go home.

She's not afraidshe just likes to use her night light.

Why why why...

Why can't Bailey sleep?? She kept waking up last night for no reason. Wake up, cry, go back to sleep.... wake up, cry, go back to sleep. I should just give up sleep altogether. UGH!

It's a wonder who I can function during the day anymore. Maybe my body is just so used to it now it really doesn't matter anymore.

So.... it's almost Halloween and Reese still can't figure out what he wants to be this year yet. Maybe he will once I take him to the costume shop. He's got a party at the Y on Thursday, so I should take him soon.

Bailey will be a fluffy pink flamingo

Videos

Ok I just figured out how to post videos on here.

Bailey's first steps - This was back in April of 2007

Bouncing Bailey

I can't imagine her being embarrassed by this picture in 15 years, can you?

October 22, 2007

Ok lots of things to update...

Let's see...

Our little precious monkey girl still doesn't sleep through the night. Not on a regular basis. And it's doing a number on my sanity. She can sleep through 4 out of 7 nights a week. That's it. Those nights are usually clumped together. Then she will wake up 3-4 nights in a row. We have already tried all the tricks of the trade. Seriously. Nothing seems to be working. We first blamed it on teeth... then she would leak through her diaper so she wakes up wet and irritated... Her teeth are all in like they should be now... and we switched to nighttime diapers (duh) so she's not waking up soaked anymore.

Yeah... I still hear "... Manna?" at 3am.

That's the other thing. She doesn't say "Mommy" ... I think I heard her call me that once. That's it just one time. When she's really tired and whiny. I want her to say it when she's happy and calling me because she wants to. I guess that will come with time.

Bailey says simple words and understands a lot of things you tell her now. She has total common sense. She will pick out shoes from her shoe basket and they'd be a matching pair. And then she will put them down to try to put them on, always the correct foot in the correct shoe. When we change her diaper, she walks her soiled diaper to the garbage can. Can't open the can, but she will put it on the top of the lid and go about her day.

She's starting to play like a girl. She takes her baby dolls and line them up and tuck them in like she's putting them to bed. I caught her trying to diaper a doll yesterday. It was cute and funny. She did get frustrated because it wouldn't stay on the doll. I guess we'll have to look into investing in a play kitchen or doll house soon.

___________________________________________

In other news...

Our good boy Reese has been suspended from school. Today he's not allowed to be at school because he punched another kid in class.

Apperently the kid said something about me that was pretty naughty. So when he got up from his seat, Reese punched him in the ribs.

The principal of the school called me to let me know what happened and that he's suspended. She also told me that she knows Reese pretty well and this is out of his charactor. Reese knows what he did was wrong and he felt horrible about it. On the one hand I can't imagine my kid punching someone like that. On the other hand I'm kinda glad he did what he did and is getting the punishment that is harsh. He knows that being suspended from school is the ultimate worse. That's what the 'bad' kids get.

Hopefully this is the last and only phone call like that I'm going to receive from the principal.

________________________________________

Chris is doing well with his work. So far nothing has changed with his job but you never know what's going to happen tomorrow.

He's also the visual tech guy at Independence High School. My alma mater and Chris marched in the band. No, he didn't attend the school, but Mr. M let him march in the band back in the day. He takes a lot of pride in teaching and those kids are really lucky to have him. Yes he does talk, marching is his passion and he's been eager to teach for a long time.

________________________________________

Speaking of teaching. I've also been helping out a colorguard. My good friend Lolita teaches a little band out in Ceres, CA at Central Valley HS. Brand new school, brand new band. She's also very passionate about what she does and I am proud of what she has accomplished in just a year's time. I am honored to be there with her and to help with her group of kids.

We have big plans for the winter program. It's really too bad that the school is 2 hours away from me and I can't be there all the time. But they are willing to work hard and they really do put their heart and soul into everything they do. Just like Lolita. I think they will do fine.

_________________________________________

I am trying to make Christmas cards. Yes Christmas cards. I figured if I start now, I will actually send them out in time for Christmas. We need to go take family pictures for the holidays. Although we have to wait til after Thanksgiving. The baby doesn't look the same from month to month. You laugh, but it's true!!

What else...

Oh yeah... I've decided not to march Renegades. At least not for another few years. It's not fair for the kids that both parents aren't available during the summer weekends. Reese wanted to be in baseball this year and we couldn't put him in because we actually want to be there for his games on Saturdays. It was impossible. The baby will have her own schedule also. We might put her into swim lessons or something. The local YMCA has a lot to offer.

Although I'm not marching anymore, I will continue to be involved with the corps. They are setting up committees so us alumni and other supporters of the corps maybe able to do to help. Without people doing all the hardwork in the background, there wouldn't be a corps on the field. I will do my best to try to help.

I have mentioned this to Chris before, but if there's a hole in June, I might be persuaded to fill it. Don't know until we get there. It's not fair to do that to people who were there all season though. I did it in 2003, that was HARD WORK!! Plus I have mommy brain now anyway. That means you don't remember things as well as you used to before babies. Shut up Kathy. lol.

Here's a little video of Bailey laughing. It's the most perfect sound any parent hears. It's true, ask a parent.

Ok... that's all for today.