Bridezilla

READ FROM THE BOTTOM.

For those of you who already know the saga. I'm sure this is nothing new. I just want to have a record of what was said and how I am feeling right now about the whole thing. This isn't the first incident of her selfishness. This is just what put me over the edge.

The straw? ... was when she told me not to use my kids as an excuse. That's it, she's cut off. Never again will I ever be friends with someone so self absorbed.

I was so blind. And now I see.
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Fine - my address 2464 S Bascom Avenue #4 Campbell, CA 95008
On Fri, Apr 4, 2008 at 11:06 AM, Kanika Clavejo <kglend@yahoo.com> wrote:
Lisa,

I knew you would flip out like this. So here's where I am. I didn't 'lie' to you like you're accusing me of doing. At the time I told you I would take care of it, I thought that I could. I have always been able to do things like this simultaneously. Now, not so much.

My kids are everything to me, when you have your own, you will understand how difficult life gets.

Yes, I know my wedding was a big deal to me, But I did not put pressure on you as you are (were) to me.

I can't deal with you anymore so we'll just cut it off right here. I will send you your half of the dress $. Have fun at your wedding and life in general.
- Kanika

P.S. Please stop trash talking me to our mutual friends, it does come back to me and Chris.
----- Original Message ----From: Lisa Dryden <renegadepeach@gmail.com>
To: Kanika Clavejo <kglend@yahoo.com>Sent: Friday, April 4, 2008 9:21:38 AMSubject: Re: Girls night?
I know you're having issues. If you remember when YOU got married everything everywhere was about your wedding!

The main thing about having some sort of bachelorette thing is that you kept on saying that you've got it going which was a total lie. If you would have just told me that you couldn't or haven't done anything it would have been totally cool!! Don't worry about it Lolita is already working on the evite. We figured it all out yesterday when she was shocked that nothing was being done.

Stop using your kids as an excuse. I understand that its hard. Thats why whenever I've asked for help with something I've tried to let you pick the time and I've been more than flexible. I even paid for 1/2 your dress. . . the shower was $150 with the cheese, the wine, the fondue, the chocolate fondue. Usually brides don't pay for the shower at all. I was being nice and understanding and trying to help out but then I realized that we were paying for about 80% of the whole thing and it would have been better to just save the money and buy what we needed instead of feeding the whole crew.

I just wish you would have been more up front. You knew back in January when we talked that this was a chance of happening. I wish then you would have just said that you couldn't do everything that a normal bridesmaid would. I would have been ok with it. Instead I end up feeling guilty all of the time for even talking about my wedding. Damn right I'm going to focus on me and my wedding. Every single bride does. Including you!!! It's a good thing. All brides are supposed to!

I feel bad that you're having to deal with Chris being away. I've told you that all of the time so I don't know why you say I'm not sympathetic. If the wedding really is too much of a big deal then feel free to use that weekend for you and Chris as well. I really don't want to put you out. I mean have you even picked up your dress yet? You realize its in 3 weeks right?

I'm just tired of trying to go out of my way to be understanding and nice and then accused of not being so.
On Fri, Apr 4, 2008 at 12:07 AM, Kanika Clavejo <kglend@yahoo.com> wrote:
Lisa,

I know that I told you a while ago that I would plan something for your bachelorette. Unfortunately, since then, my life has taken a sharp left turn. You are aware of this, yet you do not choose to acknowledge or empathize with my situation. I don't expect you to understand what it's like to be a single mom of two kids with two different schedules and my husband not being here to help.

Right now, my focus is on our family's new direction in life - literally. In a couple of months' time our family will be on the move to Arizona. Again, you know this. I am personally having a hard time with this. I can't explain to you exactly how, but it's taken everything that I have inside of me to accept that we're leaving my 'home'. Chris and I have had fights about it. Never have I talked to anyone about our personal battles because it's not anyone's concerns but ours. We chose to do this, so we are suffering the brief depression of not being together.

Needless to say, you feel like I don't care about you and your wedding anymore. That's not the case. I feel like I've reached my limit in life at the moment. Everything that wasn't a big deal before.... now it is to me. I have been redirecting my focus to me and my kids 100% when it used to be that I could do 10 things at once.

I talked to Chris about this already and I was in tears. Not sure why, but right now, obviously I can't handle any pressure... big or small. Chris can't be here to comfort me on a whim... that in itself... overwhelms.

Again, I don't expect you to understand how I feel at this moment. I don't expect anyone to. But I need you to do me a favor ... stop and think about something other than yourself and your wedding every once in a while. You will see what's going on around you. For example, one - read the paragraphs above again. And two - money isn't everything. If you stress less about money and how much of it you don't have and that you actually need, you might see a brighter side of life.

By the way, I know you spent $100 on the food for your shower. I am going to take the high road and not say how much time and money I spent on your shower.. but it was well over $100. No one knows this, because I have not once complained about it. This might come as a shock, but money is tight for us as well. Complaining about it isn't going to make it grow on trees.

I know that something is being planned for your bachelorette. My weekends are being spent with my husband now. So have fun and I will see you in Vegas. - Kanika
----- Original Message ----From: Lisa Dryden <renegadepeach@gmail.com>To: Lolita Tabatura <ltabujara@hotmail.com>; Kanika Clavejo <kglend@yahoo.com>Sent: Wednesday, April 2, 2008 5:39:18 PMSubject: Girls night?
Hey,

So I guess I thought that someone was planning something for a bachelorette night or something right? I haven't been told a date at all . . . my calendar is getting crazy full. Should I just assume that we're not doing a girls night out anymore since its 4/2 already and nothing has been planned?

I only have a couple of free days at all between now and the wedding so I guess its probably best anyways right? :(