It feels really weird watching from the stands.
This past Saturday I went to Sunnyvale to see my first drum corps show this year. I watched them warm up... saw a bunch of friends and showed up baby girl. Well, her dad did more of that than me I think. He's so proud of her.
When they got into uniform and walked towards the field to line up. I felt this emptiness like I'm suppposed to be there in line with them walking on. Then I went inside and took a seat holding Bailey watching the show. It was weird to be sitting in the audience watching these guys this year. I should be on the field performing. I can't do that anymore.
At least not for a long time.
I watched Chris march the show as intensely as ever. He had the same look in his eyes as in 04 when we got together. I want to be there with him always.... but I can't.
These are the moments I give up when we decide to have a baby I guess. It was a sad time for me....
Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow.
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